"Dude relax, we only wanted to go out for a beer."

Watching the press conference, this just happened:

It's an Android game called "Derek Jeter Presents Major League Baseball". It's expensive and crashes a lot, but the gameplay mechanics are fairly simple: you just have to tap it enough times until you get rewards.

Mr. Jeter will likely sum up his day as such:

Huh, well last time I saw my grandma she did have a pillow on top of her, but I'm pretty sure the box ended up being a bit bigger than that.

This is what happens. You give these ugly, lonely, people just a LITTLE BIT of authority, and all of a sudden the power goes to their head, and they become these teapot dictators, coming up with all sorts of arbitrary rules and regulations that have NO IMPACT WHATSOEVER, but just serve to feed their ego and quest for…

They might have gotten away with it if, instead of a mail order service, they'd just used the local Plain Dealer.

If he was a Browns fan he would be dead by now.

Race? Pssh, more like an Adorableness Pageant.

Thank goodness Konopka is there, then. He has plenty of experience with slashing minors.

At least it looks like there was a meth o.d. to her madness.

Actually there is a password: Biogenesis

Did she really have to add that she spent four years trying to figure out what went wrong in her life?

Patriots Fans Trade Aaron Hernandez Jerseys For The Usual Suspects

This comment needs more love.

say, isn't that D.J. Augustin's number?

"Pfft...I did it cuz I wanted to." - Gus Frerotte

"“I am here because Aaron Hernandez betrayed me.”

Of course the jerseys won't end up on the backs of Burundian children. They already have too much Patriots gear.