Well, the easiest rule to remember is that non-possessive plurals don't have apostrophes. As for the trailing possessive s when the singular noun ends in an s, that seems to be a matter of style preference. If I recall correctly, the Chicago Manual of Style uses the second s, but others may not. (And it's been many…

In the original article I read a few days ago, she even goes on to say that their ashes would be comingled — so no more room would be taken up by two than one.

Love love love your screen name: a cute, fuzzy, warm, snuggly non sequitur — what's not to love?

James Tiberius Kirk — worked well enough for him.

Or, maybe, in a desperate effort to be iCool. it's Iceberg (lettuce) Tomato Onion Pickle, but he missed the lower-case part of the "coolness," such that it was. Years ago.

Not to mention, who makes a "mountain" of cheesecake? Do they use an ice-cream scoop? Why not be innovative and, I don't know, slice it?

Nah, you give too much credit for historical/etymological knowledge, it's actually an almost clever reference (amongst a vast sea of dreck) to Yogi Bear (the cartoon, not the baseball guy, although ... ). This is reinforced by the opening: "Not your av-er-age ..." [bear] in Yogi's case, couldn't say about this yo-yo.

I had a sweet boy who also loved inappropriately tiny boxes — his nickname became Nick-in-the-Box. At 20lbs+ (he was fat AND fluffy, and just plain huge boned) he'd overflow the too-small boxes, looking like an overgrown, furry cupcake. Nicky gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "muffin top."