That gif is my life. But I’d like to say that Al Franken is the hero we all need right now. He is bringing it and is not listening to anybody’s bullshit. He’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and damnit, I love him.

Wait until they introduce their plan to light orphans on fire.

Combine the smell of a hairstylists office and a hospital, and that’s what I assume it smells like. Just hairspray and disinfectant.

Vick’s VapoRub and the salty tears of poors.

Bronzer and processed meat.

I endorse this theory.

Seriously at this point how the fuck is this real life. It’s too much to absorb. Like my new reality has shifted too quickly and I can’t fucking handle it. If I had the money I seriously would just go and herd cows at this point. The world has gone fucking mad.

I think it’s abuse. How hard is “don’t hit people”?

Nationals may not mean anything to you, but it sure means a lot to us. The tears of the joy that come from cheerleaders after each competition shows that they are passionate about what they do, we have come so far and we will not give up on our dream. It’s not about the trip, it’s about coming home with the first…

CHICKEN CUTLETS!!!!

Taking medical marijuana was the only thing that got me through debilitating hyperemesis gravidarum during my second pregnancy. I relied on European studies that showed no adverse fetal effects. After losing 20 lbs in the first 4 months of pregnancy, one pill a day gave me the ability to finally want to eat a meal and…

My children are 20-somethings now, but I had debilitating all-day sickness, and asked my physician about smoking pot, and she said it was okay as long as I didn’t overdo it.

I agree. You get a lot of crap about proper behavior when you’re NOT pregnant, but it definitely ramps up 10000% when you are. IMO this is more of the same. They used to tell women not that long ago not to drink coffee or alcohol when pregnant (some still do) but gee, women in Europe do this in moderation and have…

The only thing I know about Bella Thorne is that she isn’t a natural redhead, so I dislike her on principle. 

That would be nice, but it’s not going to happen. The IRS does not want to deal with the shit storm. Scientology only got their tax exemption in the first place because the IRS tapped out after over a 26 years of constant harassment, junk lawsuits and blackmail attempts.

none of us has the fucking rank to ask about Shelly.

This woman is my spirit animal. I want to travel around with her and traumatize children with the real unvarnished Grimn Fairy Tales.

F that. Some people aren’t worth being in this world. Why keep this piece of filth alive?

How long have you been carrying that chip on your shoulder? It seems heavy.