Deer often walk away from getting hit by cars under their own power and then die of internal injuries in the woods later. Does anyone know where he wandered of to???

“One ping, Vasily. One ping only.”

While trudging away from Wrigley in search of a cab home last night this morning I was passed by a man in a gorilla suit, no mask, with a Cubs jersey over it. The name on the back said “Harambez” and he was shouting “Dicks out for Harambe.”

This is known as the Canadian Tranny. Just as the Canadian Tuxedo is double denim, the Canadian Tranny is double the sticks.

The Bears plan is simple. Tank the entire season until they win the last 2 meaningless games, playing themselves out of a Top 3 draft pick, then trade their next two 1st round picks for Jimmy Garoppolo, so they can let their offensive line destroy his promising career

No need for a haircut.

Daytona needed a Daytona touch. I hook you up, Dodge.

This is what the Trump Presidency will look like.

Excuse me, is this elevator going to the right?

Morons use “dumb gun stunt”

Atatürk said that the most despicable people are those who use religion for political purposes and personal gain.

AWACS on, AWACS off.

I CHOOSE YOU, FESTERING CORPSE!!!!

Rain soaked roads show no Murci...

Did someone say “grounded”?

my time to shine!!! I worked for *INSERT OEM HERE* as a release engineer for weatherstrips, and DLO’s those chrome strips around the windows are not so easy to change color, they aren’t like a bumper, or insert on the side of the car. they are almost always stainless steel or aluminum usually stretch-bent or stamped.…

Translation:

That’ll do bot.... that’ll do.

Panzer? I hardly know her!