dude. Don't get me started...

Question: I live in Toronto where we have something the Special Investigative Unit. Whenever an officer discharges their gun, kills someone, or civilians are injured during the course of a police chase, shooting etc., they can be called in to investigate the officers. Does this not exist in all states?

I'm also opposed. But I read somewhere that some states want to bring back firing squads?

I just learned how painful it is to choke on an ice cube. Because that's what happened when I read the opening sentences.

"I started the booty song movement..."

As a Canadian, I'm not allowed to appreciate or accept Celine Dion covers. I think it was an ammendment to our constitution that was approved by the Queen.

that kinda sounds like the keening noise I'm making. I'm also rocking back and forth...

"Perhaps Daniel's gift was to teach her how to love, and to appreciate what she has with Justin Theroux."

Meryl. Jennifer Lewis. Helen Mirren. That's my dream dinner. Except I think we'd just get drunk and eat pizza.

I was on my way from job #1 to job #2 and realized that I had forgotten my textbook on the desk at job #1.

"A white lady from Australia said twerking is over. HAHAHA OK THANKS; WE'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND"

*Reads headline*

oh bloody hell Nick Jonas. I was just beginning to like you and then you go and do this...

Dear Russell,

My first thought was "John? Really? He picked John?"

"Filed to: IGLOO AUSTRALIA"

Looks like Buzzfeed had the scoop on this...

I works in retail for many years.

Dear White People,