This is all I can think of.

But what about a pony that bites you ON the penis? I think I heard something about this being good...

I assume that participation goes up after school hours.

" Anyone who has been watching him ... (like I have through his bathroom window every night.)"

I lost count of how many times I heard the phrases "take back," "bring back," "restore," "turn back," etc. in Republican victory speeches, and I know I was just hearing a tiny slice. It gave me chills. They're not even hiding the fact that they do not like progress, and have every intention of undoing as much as…

Listen, you religious nutjobs, you need to make up your minds. Either humans are souls who are just spending a brief time in this disposable transport system we call bodies before getting the big E in heaven, or bodies are really important. It can't be both, hypocrites. Either you get to torture us on earth in the…

Ok, so, I totally believe that this happens, and worse, but after watching the video I got the impression that a lot of the people were trying to sell her stuff. One of the things I hate the most about visiting NYC is the constant, CONSTANT way that someone is always trying to sell you something. The kiosk venders in…

Your mom shouldn't keep typing in those sexy fonts.

I think they get themselves confused with "libertine" sometimes.

I've never understood the enjoyment of trolling, especially strangers. Ok, I can kind of understand the concept of annoying someone you don't like, specifically, but how fucking pathetic do you have to be to waste time with this for fun? There are a million better things to do. Hell, at the very least they are…

Hey, it's never too early to start fucking with children's self-issues with body size.

Thank you, I've just saved this image for many future uses.

Ugh, you have my sympathy. As a skinny woman whose size is mostly due to the wonderful world of Crohn's, when I was pregnant with my twins I was constantly told "no way" by every nosey person who was sure I wasn't big enough. Fuck that noise. I wore a ginormous hoodie the entire time so I didn't look that big or…

Ah, I came here to say this, but saw your reply after I typed mine. Good on ya.

Anybody hear the BBC news radio interview with the editor of some big newspaper in Pakistan this morning? Apparently, there's a big part of Pakistan that thinks the entire Malala story from start to finish is a lie, a conspiracy, and a puppet show run by The West, and they are not happy she got this award. If you are…

I knew well in advance that I was going to be a C section because neither of my twins was turning, and I was terrified because I was told that there was no way short of OMGWTF emergency that they would put me out for surgery. I have a lot of medical history, and lets just say that the idea of being awake, even…

I always thought it was funny that in college I had this one friend who (seemingly) really meant it when she told guys "I don't date." It was like a dog whistle for the boys. A challenge! And in the meantime, she hung out and got to be a pal, etc., all while just endlessly stoking the fires and attracting but rarely…

I don't have one, but I saw something the other day at Best Buy and it's haunted me ever since... A combo toaster-like device that cooks hotdogs and warms the bun AT THE SAME TIME. Don't even talk to me about not eating hotdogs, either. I know, and I don't care.

Yeah... we need all these "diversity" things because people like this guy exist, I'd say. He counters his own arguments with every new sentence.

I'm gonna need to see some "three hours later" photos before I commit to any of this. Smeared and faded lip art sounds ... unfortunate.