Malibu Ken’s head *might* have ended up on a kitchen skewer in front of the barbie dream house. We were odd children despite my mother’s best efforts to make us normal.

This is going to be my new fighting tactic. “Fuck you! I like your pants!”

I dunno, I’d watch them go grocery shopping together so I’m pretty stoked on it.

Duh!

As someone who actually has OCD: fuck off, Rainn Wilson.

“Six Things to Buy if You Want to Look Like Someone Who’s Wanting To Look Like Their Not Wanting to Look Like a Backpacker”

Deluxe samples and/or sizes at Sephora are my jam for this reason.

Makeup is like baking powder— they go on & on about how you have to throw it out after a strict amount of time, but NOBODY MAKES IT IN A SMALL ENOUGH PACKAGE SO THAT YOU CAN FUCKING USE IT ALL WITHIN THAT TIME. The makeup industry isn’t just planned obsolescence, it’s planned waste.

Anybody else think this is a case of falling in love with someone who looks just like you taken WAY TOO DAMN FAR?!?!

You know what people should watch? Agents of SHIELD. First, it’s good (yes even that early first season, it’s slow but the character building is worth it), and there’s a very diverse cast. The main team of six is 3 men, 3 women, with two women of color. And more women and people of color are regularly introduced.

tHiS LoOkS LiKe A dEliA’s aD.

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA coughcoughcoughhelpI’mchoking

Add a headband with a couple rhinestone flowers, and this is straight out of a 1992 Delia’s catalog. Oh sorry, Delia*s.

Good thing you’re here .... to reMIIIIIND them...

My pregnant sister made the exact same face as Kim when she found out it was not advised for her to go jet skiing, even very slowly, when we were at the lake a few weeks ago. Then she had a huge piece of cake, cried and took a nap.

I had a boyfriend who told me that he needed to be 51% of the relationship, especially when it came to making any important decisions involving the household and our future. Apparently this is stated somewhere in the Bible. Being Satan’s daughter, I rejected the idea.

I don’t necessarily believe you have to be sweaty or out of breath to be getting a good workout with weights. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever been overly sweaty or out of breath during an arm workout, and at one point (when my diet was different), I had very lean, strong arms. I tend to get more out of breath…

I have to give my SO credit for that one. My good friend is already knocked up but doesn’t want their toddler to know yet so we’ve been using a ton of pregnancy euphemisms. The more absurd the better.

Yes, this. I'm convinced that people keep forgetting there are intelligent, liberal, religious people because we aren't the type to go on crazy rants or do obnoxious shit that gets put on the news.

Having been raised by ultra-Christian/ultra-Liberal parents I always resent the notion that believing in God also means you don't understand science or marriage equality or vaccinations.