These jerseys have inspired me to start my own charity to help the wounded. Please donate to the Perforated Pupils Project today.

Talk about a Chyron fail. That should say, "BP: 2700."

I bet that now everybody who condemned Sandusky feels pretty fucking stupid. Through his charitable works, these "victims" of his now have a secure financial future. He was so dedicated to helping these kids that he was willing to rape them and then go to jail for the rest of his life, just so that they could have…

I once thought I was about to take a bite of a delicious chocolate pie. Turns out it was mincemeat. THAT is way worse than being hit by a car.

When asked for comment, Samantha's friend Stacy replied:

Can't say I'm surprised that this dude goes through a lot of Trojans.

I thought about entering this world a while back. Obviously, there is a HUGE range of options. If you want to go entry level, portable, easy to operate, something like the Meade ETX series is a good place to start. It can get as expensive as you like down the road.

Killer?! I hardly knew 'er! ...but, yes, I did kill a man one time.

Lucky for this caller, there's an awareness campaign coming up encouraging men to check their gonads. He's going to love the wrinkly helmets covered in curly hair.

WHEN HE SAW THAT OTHER REFS SAW THAT HE GOT HIT HE GRAB HIS HEAD AND ROLL AROUND ON THE GROUD FOR 1 HOUR BECAUSE EVRYBDOY FLOP IN SOCCER!

BEAR IS ALSO TEARM FOR A HARRY GAY MAN!

You might be able to get a Mission burrito outside of California, but I seriously doubt you can pay eighteen dollars for it outside of California. California rules, bro.

See, the joke is funny because he only had three fingers.

Thousands and thousands of empty seats. Exactly what I know and love about the A's.

Not nearly as terrifying as looking into the stands on Mordecai Brown Foam Finger day.

@darrenrovell: With death of son, Peterson to save $1,000,000+ in child support. Should invest in twitter IPO.

When Stuckey was asked about a window for his return, he rolled it up on his fingers.

Once you get MRSA, you're gonna have some serious problems for a while. Just ask Arthur Dimmesdale.

I can't blame him for being mad about being portrayed as an Uncle Tom. I mean, his name is Bob, and he's your fucking father-in-law, not your uncle, Rick. Shaking my damn head...

God dammit kinja.