What? No Colon Krapernick tweets?

That sucks that I'm disappointed more because of my fantasy loss than his personal loss...What kind of monster am I!?

Push the button Max!

Oh that's just rich! You've made my day, thanks!

Seriously, where do people get the money for this!? Consider me jelly because I'm the only one in my block that doesn't have one. pouts :-(

Neutral: What do you want to see from Volvo? Are you Team China or Team Sweden?

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids"

As a flaming lesbian trapped in a man's body (I REALLY love women) I agree with this.

I'm under the impression that Mr. Irwin F. Fletcher is nothing more than paid troll that has it in for you Matt... Don't let him win, the future of the commute depends on it.

This.

The 2014 Corolla... Sorry.

1st Gear: 10-15% Of Future XTS Sales Should Be Vsport

Patrick! When you wake up in the morning who do you plot against, who's name when uttered makes your blood boil, to whom will you have your REVENGE! WHO IS YOUR NEMISIS!

Eliminate the TSA. In lieu of security prior to boarding the aircraft waivers must be signed, afterwards handguns will be provided to all boarding passengers with special accommodations for minors, infirm, and the handicapped. ( i.e. smaller handguns, handguns with larger more accessible triggers and brightly painted…

2nd gear:

Wow. This will be the car that will put the bullet in Lincoln's head.

I want it...

I've come to terms with the fact that if things weren't perpetually screwed up here by "updates" then things are no longer normal and that would be bad. Keep up the good work and don't let me get used to this "new" format otherwise I'll be very disappointed. Oh, and my Jalopnik Gold PIN no longer gains me access to…

Oh my, such narrow tires!