Look, man, no one is ever excited about mayo, but you’re always glad its there when you look for it.

I googled around, it sounds like the dude he landed on suffered a “head injury” but was released from the hospital. I couldn’t find much about the victim so hopefully that means no permanent damage.

Fuck Susan, that’s what a motherfucking winner looks like. Deal with it!

You think that out of a state of 27 million people, the raving madwoman who is taking up for the entire state is more likely someone who immigrated from a state with less than 4 million? That’s statistically improbable. There’s plenty of natural Lone Star Butthurt before bringing in more from the other side of the Red…

It’s incredible how so many people who are doing a mock fantasy draft don’t recognize that no matter how it goes, they are wasting their time.

I’m saying the Greek system has uses in general. I’m sure young women get something similar out of it as well. If every story I see about a lawsuit involving softball or girl’s soccer team is to be believed, women enjoy the physically abusive and borderline sexual assault hazing rituals as much as the men.

The Greek system is dumb, but it definitely has it’s place. In England, where they do not have fraternities, young men don’t have an open excuse to haze and humiliate each other as young men so they hold that shit inside and then have to find other outlets like going on a “stag do” which is like a bachelor party where…

He just wins games (that were already decided).

If you’re worried about goal difference in week one, then your priorities are completely off.

Today’s guest: Eric Finney, who took a sarcastic approach in answering the final one of his UI career.

Sid Lowe is a frequent guest on Football Weekly to cover La Liga, Raphael Honigstein calls in for Bundesliga, Paolo Bandini helps cover Serie A and then they’ve got a handful of writers from The Guardian who rotate in to cover the UK leagues. It covers Europe very well and does a nice job of keeping up with the rest…

Do you subscribe to The Guardian’s Football Weekly podcast and/or daily newsletter? Obviously it’s British-centric, but they do a good job of covering the other major European Leagues (and Serie A) as well as pretty good coverage of major South American news and significant world soccer news.. It’s the best general…

It kind of makes sense if you think that 1) Fox News is a real news channel 2) TMZ, E! News, Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight are all “news” shows and 3) we should just accept that cable news channels are more worried with chasing ratings than objective reporting and that’s fine because that’s just how the world…

Randy Johnson versus that bird. (Stop watching the video after 30 seconds or it gets really dumb)

Adam Schefter hasn’t seen this video, but he’s heard about it. And based on that, he’s pretty sure Dez Bryant murdered someone.

Because they gave my wife custody of the kids just because I like to drink during the day and have occasionally thrown a hockey stick at them!

Can we set up a kickstarter to get Wilmer Flores a hug and a contract with a better team?

Apparently Roger Goodell is so hellbent on destroying the Patriots that not even Tom Brady’s greatest ally, Tom Brady, can save Tom Brady.

This is the best possible outcome. This way if Brady wins a decision in his favor, it will establish a precedent for all other players. If he loses, then Brady and the Pats get fucked and everything stays just as shitty as it has been for the rest of the players, but won’t get worse. And no matter what, Goodell is…

Was this New York Times piece actually sponsored content brought to you by a Ted Cruz super PAC?