GUARD YOUR DICKS...THE GYNOCRACY IS NIGH!!!!!!!!

1. Took me way too long to pick up that you meant Bar Refeali, and I was like. Wtf would I ask what a drinking establishment has that I don't have? I know the answer to that. And it's unopened bottles of Bourbon that I should be drinking.

Also, it is completely acceptable to body shame (or any kind of shame, really, because he's, as you so deftly put it, a GROWN ASS INDEPENDENT MAN) a man who is over the age of 40 and refers to his close group of male friends as the "pussy posse". It's an important bylaw in the Feminism Handbook and I suggest you buy…

*and he has gained soooo much weight*

I hope he finds out he is number 4 in the rotation because his dick game is kind of weak.

And even then, what's the insult? "You looked cute in this swimsuit one time. Ha-ha, nailed you."

Honestly, Rihanna bossing around Leonardo DiCaprio and finding him subpar is basically every sex dream I have ever had.

Holding out for her to return in a yellow abaya, Onitsuka Tigers, and a katana in hand and deliver some righteous fucking justice.

Sean Penn was married to Robin Wright for 20 years and has 2 children with her, yet says that his marriage to Charlize will be his first marriage. God he's such a shit bag.

I will NOT watch Empire, no matter how much everyone loves it. Ugh, I can't watch anything with Terrence Howard without thinking of what a bag of dicks he is.

I'm going to write a screenplay for a made-for-TV biopic about your time at Jez.

Way to demonstrate those Christian values you're always waxing so sanctimonious about, Sherri.

Unpopular opinion: Tom Hiddleston ain't shit. And that photo is a total boner killer.

Extra is the weirdest fucking show.

Dogabetes.

The presumably cisgender boys who assaulted me in a bathroom at my high school had no problem just walking the fuck right in. Banning trans women from using women's bathrooms doesn't protect me from rapists; it just fucks over a particular subset of women. (And, in case I need to spell that out, that's bullshit.)

Yes but spelled/pronounced Diabeetus.

Those eyes man, they've seen some dark shit.

An all male Sex and the City sounds totally rad! You should totally pitch that to Hollywood, the tag line could be 'putting the man back in mani pedi!

I'm am still opposed to the death penalty on principle, but ... some people, man. It's like the guy in Oklahoma who was reportedly gasping for breath during the execution. At first I was horrified, but when I read what he did my first thought was, "Oh, well, fuck that guy." Again, still absolutely think the death…