In case you need more of a reason to love Jenny Slate:

Ah, sweet irony. My dad (who is probably writhing in hell right now) would not recognize himself as one of the kind of jerks depicted here, served in the Navy and would have definitely enjoyed the runny eggs story. But I can only imagine how many of his former servers could have written stories about him.

I was serving a grandfather and his teenage grandson. The kid asked for a bowl of chili, at which point I explained that we were out of chili, apologized (why we as servers have to do this, I don't know, but we do) and told him the other soups we had available. The kid said, "But I wanted the chili." Ok, well,…

If no one is starving in the street, how can I ever feel truly rich?

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Not as much as the crown of thorns and all that jazz, but it will hurt me pretty bad."

I vote for Paint Shop Pro. I have walked through many a Photoshop tutorial using PSP with no problem.

Corel Paint Shop Pro really deserves a mention. It can do probably 90% of what photographers use Photoshop for, at 1/10th of the cost. There are things that Photoshop is better at, but if you don't have the budget for Photoshop, I'd definitely recommend Paint Shop Pro.