Fool me 13 times shame on you ...
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No, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. The punishment fits because it’s fitting both this crime and all the other incredibly dangerous similar crimes he’s gone out of his way to commit on the field over the past decade. You get one DUI, you get a year in jail. If it’s your sixth one, the judge isn’t going to be…
He’ll probably learn his lesson this time.
This will be Burfict’s 14th suspension in his NFL career, and his third for an illegal hit. After his ejection, the Raiders captain ran off the field blowing kisses to the booing crowd.
If he’d only knocked a woman unconscious instead, they’d have him back in a month at worst.
The “N_-1 + 1" (i.e. always one more than the last time he mentioned them) Angry Democrats are by far my favorite supporting characters in the film script Trump is continually writing in his head. I really wished someone would have asked him, “Could you name one of those Angry Democrats, Mr. President? First or last…
Oh and for anyone who wishes to know how Crowdstrike and Ukraine became linked in the soggy wastes that make up his brain, I think I figured it out:
Burn it all to the ground...Trump and his slack-jawed family, #MoscowMitch and all the enabling Republicans in Congress, and Fox News (especially Lumpy Hannity) and the sleaze merchants on conserva-talk radio. Fuck each and every one of them with a chain saw.
I remember going to sleep that night that thinking, “Tomorrow morning I’m going to wake up and for maybe 1 to 2 seconds I’m not going to remember what happened, and that that will be the last time for a long time I won’t know how awful this is.” Treasuring that last split second of ignorance helped me fall asleep.
A lot of under 50, non-college educated, (mostly) white males voted for him.
That’s the rub. Trump is a moron....an abject failure of a man in life and in business and yes he did get elected but everyone can see that he
I couldn’t sleep on the night he was elected. It was one of the worst night’s sleeps I’ve ever gotten. I wouldn’t have felt that way about, say, Cruz or Rubio, despite how disgusting they are. Trump’s election spoke in a singular manner on how broken and fucked up our country and its political systems are. It’s deeply…
Agreed on all points. I’d like to add one minor thing, though. Trump further encapsulates the Boomer id, in that he doesn’t understand the role he’s played in his failures. He rails against banking and lending systems, as if they’re the reason he can’t run a successful business. He’s perfect, and his businesses are…
Roth has mastered the (westernized version of) Zen simplicity where trump is concerned. It’s a wonder so few writers have caught on to this, as well. It doesn’t take a genius to look at trump’s tweets or hear him speak and say “Jesus, that guy’s brain is pudding and he knows absolutely nothing at all.” Roth’s genius…
Reading this, I felt not schadenfreude, not anger, but... sadness. Not for Trump, of course—no, fuck him and his minions with a hydraulic press, and then fire the pulpy leftovers into the sun—but for the country. There are so many profoundly stupid people in this country who have blindly followed him up to now and…
There is legitimately no one better than Roth at putting Trump’s mangled actions and manner of speech into writing.
Tl;dr version...
Fox News Cinematic Universe
Damn, David. You are really fucking good at writing these articles.
Someday, perhaps soon, Trump will no longer be president. David Roth will be forced to write even more about the Mets, at which point his mental capacity may approach a level similar to that of his previous subject.