If you bought enough stars, Renner would loan you one of his.

“I got nothing against gay people, I just wish they’d stop all this existing all up in my face!”

People who paid money for “stars” on the Jeremy Renner app should no longer be eligible to vote.

I’m reading a book right now that refers to the actual object of these dopes’ worship as Tactical Jesus.

Could God make a movie so shitty Eric Roberts wouldn’t star in it?

Questions like: “Can God make a boulder so heavy that he couldn’t lift it?”

“Liberals who call anyone who disagrees with them a Nazi! It’s so unfair!” -Conservatives

Someone needs to share this with Kevin Sorbo

“This was a movie!”

On the bright side; thanks to the terrible state of American health care at least 8 million of those tens of millions are going to be dead within the decade

It was fun laughing about this until it struck me that there are literally tens of millions of people for whom this is some real, no-bullshit, truth bomb cinema, then I just got sad. 

If _your_ dog poops, then pick that shit up. Bring some poop bags with you when you take your good boy for a walk. If you’re out for a walk and see someone else’s dogshit on a lawn, you have my express permission to think “What a colossal asshole that guy was” and keep walking.

Not to have an actual feeling or anything, but at times where it feels like all of the Earth’s leaders are shitty, I go back to Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” speech.

Do you think you’d notice some sketchy guys in a Crown Vic tailing you all the way home?

Be a good person. The bar is set really fucking low.

As a formerly religious person now agnostic, I still believe it’s better to be a nice person. The world is just a more pleasant place if people treat each other with some modicum of respect than if everyone follows the President’s leadis just a selfish shit. Does it necessarily get you something in return? I don’t…

I did not learn to properly use a Kleenex until I was thirteen.

The fact there are earnest users of the Jeremy Renner app is the real story of this post. 

Just when I start to think I have a decent handle on the world, I find out there’s not only a Jeremy Renner app, but also, apparently, an audience for it.

The most predictable whine I hear from complacent Union brothers and sisters about the latest outrage from the bosses is “they can’t do that!”. Of course “they” can. They have the money which they use to buy their predominantly republican politicians and their captive cops and private security goons.