Totally used to rock this, AND with the pooka necklace and extra silver rings. It was the early 2000s though, so this was pre-Guy Fieri.

I'm a dude who has frequently thought about taking a yoga class, but every time I walk by the studio at the gym, everyone is lying on the floor. If nothing else, it looks really restful!

Damn man, sorry to hear that. That's great life advice that I hope you continue to follow.

+1 Go 'Cats

Haha, if only it did. The times that I've gotten out early from work, that's when the hotness seems to start showing up. I think they're living lives of leisure.

You gotta go right after work, between 4 and 7, when it's warm out.

Why are so many bikers assholes to us walking / public-transit people then? The yelling, the blowing through crosswalks - this isn't telling cars to fuck off, it's people using the original mode of transportation.

Biker dickishness on the lakefront is almost enough to distract you from the super-hot LP girls jogging around. Almost. But yeah, fuck the spandex guys.

I'm sure they just told Under Armour to "do your thing" and this is the end result. Then again, the Wounded Warrior shirts themselves seem to have a similar design thing going with the red streaks, so it's probably consistency.

They should have gotten some Medill IMC people on the case.

Hey, my alma mater graduates PLENTY of engineers and scientists. That's why we suck so bad at football!

So sad and so true. 6 years married, 6 years beejless. Thank God for the spank bank.

Dislike most religion, but I'm going to go with your friends - that would be more dickish than funny. What if someone poured salt on your lawn so it burned the grass to say "JESUS LOVES ME" or something? Also, after thinking of that, I need to spend more time writing salt-messages on people's lawns.

Alright, I laughed at most of these, but this one legitimately gives me the skin creeps.

Holy fuck, dude. Now I'm going to wonder every time my dog barks at nothing, which is a lot.

Animals and kids - they can instantly judge your soul. (Or at least I tell people that when my dog likes them.)

You are giving the dudes at the gym WAY too much credit for giving a shit about anyone else. Mostly we just do some sets, turn up the headphones, then go home.

I'm guessing you also use the word "summer" as a verb.

I know, that's why I put him in my short list of modern individuals who do a lot of philanthropy.

Seconded. Where's all the rich dudes naming libraries and museums after themselves like we had back in the day? Bill Gates, Pritzkers, whomever Catherine T. MacArthur is, and that's about it. Andrew Carnegie they ain't. (Even if he was a robber baron first, but today we have robbing without the benevolent baron-ing.)

Watch out, or his dad will behead you and two small Asian children with a helicopter.

I treat my wedding ring like a nice watch and actively avoid wearing it a lot of the time, because I'm pretty sure doing anything more vigorous than typing or holding a beer is going to cause me to lose it. Don't wear it to the gym, DEFINITELY don't wear it in the pool, and you're probably safer not wearing it anytime…