Roethlisberger isn't as good at the Jesus stuff. He tries to break it out in interviews after his "incident", but he just can't sell it with the same level of shamelessness as Lewis.

Oh, well that makes it much better. Glad to know that time I threw my friend's warm gun into the lake for him was totally normal.

I have firsthand experience in not obstructing justice in a murder case, not fathering six kids out of wedlock and not becoming pro sports' most vocal Jesus freak after I do all of those things. So by your criteria I have every right to say Lewis is a shithead.

Yep.

None of them were married to him, so the reality is even worse than you described.

I wish ESPN ran this post in the ticker every time there's a story about Ray Lewis.

He threw away his suit! That's discarded evidence in a murder case! How the hell is that not participating?

Someone went and ate a lot of lead paint and mercury-laden Maryland seafood before posting here.

What about the six kids by four women outside of marriage? Very Christlike way of raising a family.

A pit bull is like a lion - cute in a way, but so powerful-looking that you end up treating them more with a sense of respect than with a sense of 'awww'. My neighbor has a pit who's probably the sweetest dog alive, but he has such a huge head and visible muscles that I can't help but be a little wary.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is marrying Lenny Dykstra's kid? Lenny's about the worst-ever role model for integrity, sensitivity and financial acumen. You can't blame someone for their parents, but you can sure examine the hell out of them to ensure they're not following those parents' example.

Maybe she just is humble and nice? Rare for an actor, but could be true. She's one of my favorites, so I'll just believe it's so.

Works nicely for dress shirts, and in fact I'll try hard to keep them from getting wrinkled / smelly so I can wear them a second (or third!) time before having to pay again. But ironing them in between dry cleanings? Fuck that.

Does it make it worse if I tell you this offer happened at exactly the same time that our old vacuum died?

Do it - you won't be sorry. You can also justify the working-class thing because you're giving someone else a job.

"The fat one starts dropping things off my bed-side table at 6am until they are fed."

Seriously, groceries are great. My wife hates grocery shopping - I'm completely mystified by this hatred. Then again, I would rather scrub a toilet than go shop for clothes, so I'm not exactly logical either.

Seconded.

I'm with you. For years I resisted out of some bullshit working-class pride from growing up, but as soon as I gave in, I recognized I was a fucking idiot. Cleaning service is the best.

I still feel like our dog is more work than all three of our cats. (My wife is working up to animal-hoarder status.) Scooping litter sucks, but the fucking dog is so energized and devoted to herding / pissing off the cats that he's more work than the rest of them combined.