You're wrong. It's way easier for today's jerker to find pictures of any given famous hot person, which only exponentially increases the amount of times that person is jerked to. With increases in population, access to vast image libraries and a loosening of sexual mores, I would wager that even one of today's…

Seconded. Either keep going or find a worthy successor. Halpern's dad?

In any survey of the public, 20% of respondents will ALWAYS be completely stupid: the world is flat, dinosaurs and people coexisted, approval of the job GWB did as President, etc. In fact, I think public-opinion firms should just report results on an 80-point scale and throw out this 20% at the beginning.

"At some point future Presidential candidate's Twitter/Facebook pasts are going to come out, and it will be hilarious."

Spot on - magazine capacity is the best place to start.

Good for you to speak up and put that woman in her place. I feel bad for the father.

I also don't think the kid is disabled when you see the parent laughing in approval at their "cute" (but actually horribly rude to everyone else) behavior. Sigh of resignation? OK, maybe disabled. "Oh that's so precious!" encouragement while the kid is throwing food across the room? Doubtful on the disability; highly…

You forgot the baggie of cereal. Even today, a broken Cheerio makes me think of going to Mass.

"A pervy upskirt shot ... has been making the rounds of that beautiful formless mass of the collective human id that we call the Interwebz."

Agreed, except the part where you indicated there are sites with comment sections worth reading. Almost never true.

This was my cause for a long time, but now plenty of sites are using Facebook Connect, and you still see the same old idiocy. Haters gonna hate!

Straight dude here, seconding your notion of increased dudely readership.

Were those dudes from The North, and therefore really pale? Speaking as a pale dude, we tend to be naturally sparse in body hair. There aren't a lot of Robin Williamses in Ireland or Scandinavia.

I've definitely been there. I was rail skinny up through about junior year of college, but eventually just decided I was going to start lifting and de-skinny, opinions be damned. After a while I filled out to average size and it hasn't been a big deal to go to the gym ever since. (Though years later I once tried to…

You two are not alone. This must only appeal to redneck Southerners who don't care about pro football in the first place.

+1 to this for describing it exactly like the emotionless genocidal robot villain in a sci-fi film. Also, it doesn't sound that bad!

Every movie computer is secretly an iMac?

Fuckin' A brilliant.

Get your troll on.

Isn't the halftime band Young Widows? How did they change color?