Translation: "I walked toward this car and told the guy to get out of his piece of shit car. Dude was being a total dick so I choke-slammed him face down onto the pavement; I didn't TOTALLY go American History X status on him though, so it should be cool if he tries suing me. Shit was nuts."

I won't expect commissions, but I do expect a $0.99 gift card so that I can get the app for free haha

That's awesome! Is there any word on how it works? I would be afraid of essentially installing a "cancer beam" in my house haha

I would love a wifi-esque method of "air charging" anywhere in my apartment. I am basing this request on zero working knowledge on how batteries, or charging for that matter, work.

I'll be waiting for an app that will clear the browser history on my home computer if I should ever flat-line.

Again- this is a very unfortunate hypothetical, but someone will eventually be captured and give up the password potentially. I know that you are right- I'm just being devils advocate here. This is really cool tech.

I read this as "will it be lightning proof?"

POW!!

The corporate salesman at Energizer is just THAT FUCKING GOOD. This was his Catalina Wine Mixer.

My only concern is what will happen when this (unfortunately but inevitably) falls into the hands of the enemy during a battle? They will pick it up and see where all the soldiers are and direct fire accordingly. Is there a biometric security lock on it? One that is maybe hooked up to a heart rate monitor in case…

Wait they are welcome back at the event? If Brian doesn't do the semi-smartass coverage that we all love (and can passively read updates of while in the office instead of streaming a video) I will punch an infant.

It is still early in the morning, and admittedly I read this and thought you were suggesting that the terrorist organization give out free iPhone cases haha

That is hands down the most optimistic person with a lethal autoimmune disease, that I have ever seen.

"Hey guys, so it looks like not only is Apple's partnership with MasterCard and Visa going to probably eliminate our iPhone user-base this month, but we also share a company name with one of the most hated terrorist organizations in the world right now...." -probably a real quote from a particularly shitty recent…

What does meth have to do with this? haha "yeah- science, bitch!"

Whether it is a kill switch on a tank, the fingerprint stored in your iPhone, or banking info on your computer, if it is connected to any sort of communications, it can and will eventually be hacked. The security might even be the best we have ever created, but over time, people will figure it out.

Honestly- dealers would make a killing just chilling out front of the theater. Theaters afraid of people just downloading movies? lobby the gov to let you sell it in the concession stand along with a $10 bag of stale popcorn (of which sales would also skyrocket haha). Are we up to $135 at this point?

Thanks. Nomadic radioactive boars have now been added to my list of things that keep me up at night.

*Visual approximation of Tim Cook at last year's company Christmas party

If they make Avatar 2 in 3D, 4K, AND on a panoramic screen, then forget $50 to go see it- it will be $100 after the bag of weed you will definitely want to purchase before going haha