When I want to be sure people know I am a lady, I ride with no pants on.

This is why I either ask my vet for a recommendation or board there for short stays. The vet can be a little more stressful but I know they sure as fuck aren't going to kill my dog (when he was still alive, he died of old age last May.) Vet boarding is CRAZY $$$$ for birds— it was (no shitting) $1K to get all the…

Androgynous enough that me and my girlfriend can fantasize about him and not be gay. All we need is a WiiU.

Right? I mean, isn't the Washington Post a newspaper that reports, like, news and facts and shit?

BREAKING NEWS: Domestic violence is no more. Sources say that reports of domestic disputes have dropped to zero.

I was eating breakfast at a local joint one time. A couple tables away some schmuck was reading the riot act to one of the waitresses about his food. Now, understand, this place was a nice, cheap local diner. The food was OK but Wolfgang Puck wasn't working in the kitchen. I liked it and never had a bad meal there.…

Another bar tending story:

Nooo! I need her to be Melisande Shahrizai when the Kushiel books go to HBO (in my dreams).

I think it's proportion that fucks me mostly, but goddamn Es must be hard! My band size is just a such a bitch to find.

Down with the tyranny of gaping plackets!

What the hell is with the choice of "midthigh, the world is my Gyn appointment" and "my dream is to have my legs look like piano stools" lengths? What the hell is wrong with knee length?

I'm a guy and we have that problem, too. Then female friends ask why I don't just shop online. They recommend buying something in multiple sizes and returning the ones that don't fit. What sort of lunacy is that? I just want to buy the one thing. One!

I did learn to sew specifically because I can never find shirts that fit both my shoulders, boobs and waist so I aim to fit the largest (boobs) and then tailor from there. I have to alter every dress because for some reason being plus size must mean you're shaped like a raisin instead of an hourglass. And for some…

#ItIsAllMen.

The mascot seems like it might be problematic, depending on if it was something the native students picked or if it was more driven by non-native ones. It could be a source of pride since there is a high population of native students, and if that's what happened, they have a right to have a mascot representing their…

We're not all like that, this guy is just a huge douchebag.

When a guy is doing this and there are limited seats, I just sit right down next to them and rest my leg against theirs. Most men can not tolerate another man's leg touching theirs. "No homo" and all that. Eventually they pull their legs back into their own space. This obviously wouldnt work for women, but Im doing my…

Okay. Was anyone else's first thought "DOGGIE!!!"?