One big piece of advice, make sure you do a trial run a few days earlier so you know what the pitfalls are and can have the timing down without having to pay too much attention to the food. When you put out a great dish while making her the focus rather than putting all your attention on the food it helps a lot.

Holy shit that would be a horrifying existence. Meat and cheese were MADE to be together.

Burnt Alfredo sauce is awful though. And easy to do if you're a complete newb. How about lamb chops? finely chop some rosemary and garlic, smear it on the chops with some salt and pepper, sear over medium heat for a minute per side, pop in to an oven at 400 for 7-8 minutes and done. Chop some sundries tomato and mix…

Eh, I'm pretty firmly in the Sous Vide Sucks camp at the moment. If I ever come around to thinking it doesn't suck, I may write about it.

Totally agree. Sox fan here and Mo is not only the greatest closer of all time, he may be the best ambassador the sport has. The Opening Day 2005 gesture made me a fan of his for life for being one of the guys who "gets it." Every time the Sox were able to get to him for a win, he never threw anyone under the bus,…

I can't turn off being a Sox fan, personally, but that doesn't mean I'm a tit toward Mo. The vast, VAST majority of Sox fans absolutely love and respect Mo. The guy's the best reliever that ever lived AND he's a classy guy (I hate that term, but there's no one in sports it's more apt for).

As a lifelong Red Sox fan, there is almost nobody in the entire game I respect and admire more than Mariano Rivera.

This has to be satire. It has to be. I hate Boston and its fans more than anything else, but the one thing I do respect them for is, almost to a man, they respect the hell out of Rivera. But if this isn't satire, you're just an asshole. And too bad you let your hatred rob you of enjoying what was a great sports moment.

I'm a Sox fan and couldn't disagree more about Mo Rivera. Classy. Great. Clutch (at any year not 2004). Respectful.

You're not a baseball fan. As a Yankees fan even I have respect for Fisk, Rice, Pedro, Yaz, and Ted Williams. For you to not have respect for Mariano Rivera, let alone wish terrible things upon him, is just a joke.

"Metallica is my father???"

Of course he's old, but I think moreover his injury and failed retirement tour last year probably ended all doubts. He can't play forever and might as well go out on top. I'm not sure what he has left to accomplish other than padding records. Considering last year ended with him writing on the warning track, you can't…

I've never been a Yankee fan. But you have to admire a guy who is the ultimate professional. He does his job at an ultra-high level, keeps his nose clean, and is clearly respected by his peers. My hat is off to him.

You'll get no argument from me over the fact that Buck is possibly the worst thing of all the things ever, but why the ill will to Rivera because of it? I mean I get that you're a Sox fan, but as a baseball fan can't you just not be a Sawx fan for a minute?

There IS a way this kind of suspicion can end: Get rid of the salary cap. Have promotion and relegation like in English Premier League. Outside of soccer, pro basketball actually is the only pro sport that COULD adopt pro-rel if they wanted to. I'd love for Deadspin to write a column on something like this.

I think it's statistically much more likely that non-athletes in that income bracket are committing serious "white-collar" crimes, so it probably evens out.

Cheap fucking bastards.

This called for a Châteauneuf-du-Papi.

This poor kid has such bad luck with his nose. Just the other day his father took it away from him for like an hour and refused to give it back.

Maybe sex isn't your thing. Have you considered other hobbies? If only to spare someone else from yourself?

Are you, like, allergic to clits?