Yeah, don’t get me wrong, aliens are not going to land on Earth and invade us/invite us into the United Federation of Rainbows and Unicorns any time in the lifespan of my great-grandchildren or even whatever span of time what we think of as our current civilization has left in it. I just wanted to be clear that…

Oh, christ. I made up a chart like this for a college project on Lyndon LaRouche (R.I.P?) once. I did not expect to see one, like, presented seriously on a major cable channel. Fuck.

>anywhere in the universe

“Hellmann’s” in the northeast.

It was basically the only name available since Hellmann’s did it in the 1990s:

From age 5 onward, literally every time I ate something from McDonald’s that wasn’t a) breakfast or b) McNuggets, I would start puking uncontrollably after a few hours. Doesn’t matter what it was or what location I got it from, if it wasn’t a breakfast item or McNuggets I couldn’t keep it down. Once this sent me to…

Thanks for writing this! So the money for Dennis Smith Jr.’s family came from Adidas. How about the money for the other three players’ folks? Unless it literally came from the schools without their knowledge I don’t understand how any of this constitutes criminal fraud rather than (say) some kind of breach of contract…

Holy shit, the entire rest of that sentence was so far the other way that I completely missed the word “not” on first reading. How the fuck do you come to the conclusion that a blacked-out person can consent to having their fucking nails clipped, let alone have sex?

Would vastly prefer the Guardian or at least the Times.  But please and thank you on the drink.

Scocca wrote it better, but less connected to the politics.  So... I’ll allow it.

I think Twitter is underestimated and undervalued. It’s literally the pulse and current of what’s happening right now, to the second.

TBF the Lambo with the toboggan looked like it was about to go full Mustang there for a second. Thankfully, nothing happened.

I mean, it’s not like they salted the frozen lake. Unless you’re worried about the physical material effect of frozen water on the just-shy-of-red-hot metal parts underneath?

I can still taste the tomato on the bun if you’ve left it there more than a minute or so. Yes, I have, in fact, tried garden fresh tomatoes, both heirloom-variety and not, in various colors and sizes, and no, they are not better than the allegedly inferior trash you get from the grocery store or on your burger at…

Is it closer to the vowel in the Vietnamese pho, then? Cause I can do that pretty OK.

any chance we’ll be seeing some rebranded Opels wearing Peugeot badges competing against handily outselling the same rebranded Opels wearing Buick badges?

Either of these sounds likely to be better than what they’re probably actually doing. Would watch.

I question the decision to give him a suspension. A lattice truss would get their point across much more effectively.

I’m told human meat is actually much more like pork.