Are you Julian Green?

Oh my.

Why are you attending Sunday School as a 25 year old ?

What you should have done is grab the dumpling between your teeth lightly keeping it away from the fleshy parts of your mouth and sucked in small amounts of air to cool it down while nibbling as fast as you can. That's my strategy for dealing with dangerous pizza rolls.

I want to poke it with a stick.

That's such a stupid nickname. "Tommy Gunn" is already a nickname in itself.

I’m confused why you’re so upset that you got crap Pokémon to start with . You start with crap, you work at it to build good things. This is how pretty much every game ever works. By giving you crap in the beginning it leads you into better creatures/guns/weapons. Did you expect the BFG in the first level of Doom? You…

What the actual shit fucking??? I’ve been tired asleep on the road but I pulled into the closest rest stop or once even pulled over and took a 20 minute nap. I was never so tired I tried to drown myself. The a saddest thing about this story is that Jacksonville cops think letting Denard (I swear to god if Denard gets…

Fan votes should count but not as much as they do. They should hold a lottery anyone can enter of 5000 voters and those 5000 select the team.

That’s a waste of a good tweet on thr wrong topic.

Billy isn’t better than anyone. He’s a shitty writer on a good website.

Billy Haisley is the Sam Biddle of Deadspin and Sam Biddle was (sadly not RIP) the Skip Bayless of Gawker.

Got a thing for turkey necks huh?

How did you feel when he was elected the second time?

Rosario Dawson or Dante Rosario?

If you had stepped on him , you would have had an excuse to get a real dog though.

Does he live a secret life as Judge Doom? That voice....

They’re low, but I cannot believe most if not all Trump supporters would support rape. They would certainly question the authenticity of the claim, but they would never say “he rapes kids? That’s awesome!”.

“Oakafore”