Well that’s ridiculous, but what GM would you say is worth the most and what would you peg that value at?

Pandas are the animal equivalent of that kid in school who was always smelling his fingers and calling the teacher “Mom".

Why would I be sleeping? What is a “baby keyboard”? Is it a keyboard which has not yet hit puberty and is unable to have complex buttons like the F-series and the mysterious SysReq?

No one cares you whiny little bitch.

How can you take a blindside hit directly in the face?

Only if a douchebag is writing them.

Damn, that's a stupid idea.

I think he means that he’s going to appeal until there’s a game that the manager was planning on resting him anyways.

That dog stops being faithful when you stop feeding it. There is no two way emotional connection, you are the source of food, not a parent.

Raccoons are real mean when they want to be. Their teeth are the size of a dog’s and those creepy ass hands.... When I was a kid a raccoon got a hold of our equally mean, huge tomcat, bit and shredded him to pieces and threw him down a well. Still no idea how he survived that.

At least Jerry is old now and doesn’t look like Beaver. I have no idea if he can act, but if you cast him in a movie today I don’t know if a lot of the movie viewing target audience would know who he was. The only reason I know him is because one of my high school history teachers thought showing us many “Leave it to…

Oh sure, he made bank. He’s typecast to hell though, he’ll be the nerd in every movie he’s ever in, even if he’s playing a serious character.

I feel bad for McLovin, I mean Chris Whatever. It’s one of those roles where you will always be seen as McLovin in every role you ever take. If he was in the grittiest cop movie ever I would think “huh, looks like McLovin got close to Hader cop and Rogen cop and became a cop”.

Are you sure?

Nah, I just made that up. It’s short for cousin.

Actually it’s short for “C U haters".

Stop rhythmically slapping yourself on the back.

Maybe they were asking that because they want a candidate who spoke out against Paterno.

It must take you a very long time to walk anywhere if you whip your head around anytime you hear a car nearby.

You hear a car approaching nearby while you’re walking on the sidewalk, you’re not going to turn around whether you’re wearing headphones or not. You hear hooves you think horses, not zebras. Plus Parsons was run over crossing a road so I’m not sure what your sidewalk anecdotes have to do with it.