This dude is not seriously cruising around in a shirt with his own name on it, is he???

It took a long time but Donald finally realized being a billionaire buys you a LOT of drugs.

“a horse that eats glue” shine on you sick motherfucker

I don’t know, I feel if I got 201 pitches thrown at me I could bloop at least one into the outfield.

More like Dan Uggly amirite?

Question: In 67 at-bats do you think at least 25% of Deadspin readers could get a hit?

They already did it twice....in that sentence.

Beyonce is tops not even close.

No need to be a twat.

Sometimes people miss the space button, don’t be a twat.

She was irrelevant to their victory. The only relevance she had was that the team was able to overcome her performance.

Marta’s was nicer but Lloyd’s is a close second.

He is employing sarcasm.

Except for Jason. Getting a grip may be difficult for him.

I feel bad for JPP, I managed to keep all my fingers this holiday but there’s always those couple unlucky ones. His neighbors are weird though, “JASON PIERRE PAUL IS MY NEIGHBOR AND WE ARE HANGING OUT I AM HANGING OUT WITH JASON PIERRE PAUL!”. Like get a grip people.

He’s a pimp dude, why would he ever quit?

Me no understand.

I’m about as far as you can get into the “stop flopping around like dying sealife you pussies” camp as you can get but that looked like it fucking hurt.

You’re a sensitive bunch.

Where’s your punchline?