Choose Meryl Streep instead then.

Just a thorough mechanical restoration and a slight bodywork refreshing, and this becomes the mother of all Rat-Ponies. This is the mechanical equivalent of a MILF with slight wrinkles around the eyes, but all the right bits in the right places.

NSFW. This is utter pornography.

Perfect to keep instruments readable even when the steering wheel is turned. Also perfect to hurt your hand if hit a curb and don't hold said steering wheel properly...

The Citroën CX25 Turbodiesel Break. It's a turbocharged Diesel French wagon with hydropneumatic suspension and a set of controls straight outta Star Trek. Could they have made it any more Jalop? And the answer is none. None more Jalop.

Nearly broke my screen corresponding to the brofist.

Not just that: the first mainstream unibody FWD car with rack-and-pinion steering and all-around independent suspensions. It had more in common with cars 40 years newer than with 1930s cars.

Parce-que voiture de rallye.

Exactly. This particular example has the more than adequate moniker of "Thrill".

They're heavier than older crops, but also have more sophisticated suspensions and more accurate steerings.

Because it was a rebadged Peugeot 106, a perfect example of the small French hatchback, and one of the most fun cars ever.

Because you're a useless chunk of meat behind the wheel. Bet you can't even drive stick.

It's legalised hooning, in fact.

So you want to hoon a unicicle with a chest of drawers on one hand?

Yep. But less reliable and a bit cheaper (at least in Europe). Nowadays Citroen seems to have found itself again, while Honda has given up on making interesting cars for the masses (the new Civic is much plainer than the old one).

Not as odd as making a racecar out of a Mini Countryman.

The DS3 is actually more comfortable than the Renaultsport Clio, IMO. And the way they have reused the DS moniker is a correct one: the DS was not about nostalgia, but about being at the forefront of technology for the common man. Distinguished, but not unreachable.

HYBRID? Heresy! A turbo-Diesel maybe, but a Hybrid... And of course FWD, as Y,hw,h wisely indicated to His servant André Citroën.

It will drive well. It's a French hatchback.

MHI is currently looking for a way to give up cars altogether and focus on heavy machinery. I have no other explanation for their policy.