MICK JAGGER, Y’ALL. We all know Keith Richards is an embalmed corpse and will live forever.

Any pastor writing a book called Fidelity: How to Be a One-Woman Man is banging everything he can get his hands on. Guarantee it.

Meet Joshua Feuerstein, the “ex-pastor” who ginned this whole fauxtrage up in the first place. A real piece of work. Only thing he’s pastor of is his own ego, and possibly his gun collection.

Tabloids only write about women if we’re dumped, engaged or pregnant. So fucking sexist.

Tangentially restaurant related: I used to be a music writer and many times I was assigned stories on CCM artists. I’m in Nashville and CCM and country used to be the only kinds of music around here that you could earn a living writing about. I had several performers tell me about how oppressed Christians were in the…

We live next door to a church. Our orange tabby, who also refused to be turned into an indoor kitty, somehow figured out how to get in through the basement. We’d see him peering out at us through the windows of the office when we’d walk our dogs on Saturday mornings. We were told that he would show up for session…

Jenna Elfman. Kirstie Alley and Juliette Lewis are all Scientolgists. Might be others on the list too. Not a coincidence.

So did she get a perm or what?

Why do all of these smarmy fundie assholes look like Ralph Reed? Did he clone himself or something?

Wow I guess that was before Sir Paul was a vegetarian!

I had just moved to Nashville for my new jobs as a lowly editorial assistant at a weekly entertainment trade paper. I’d been on the job all of one week when for some reason they asked me to cover a press conference for Volunteer Jam, which was a big multi-artist music festival Charlie Daniels staged every year. It was…

There were over 9,000 untested rape kits in Tennessee and in 2014 Republicans refused to allocate $2 million to clear the backlog. Nice how that works, isn’t it? Your rape can’t be verified because we refuse to allocate a tiny sum of money to begin testing the rape kit that could be used to verify it. What’s that…

The only time I ever want to see Kim Richards on TV again is when she offers Lisa Rinna her huge fucking heartfelt apology. And then I want her to go into a serious rehab, where they have the sense to tell her that a reality show is not in her best interests.

I had an employer tell me I needed to wear nylon hose. This was back in the ‘80s in Southern California. In the summer. I just said no. We were a tiny office of TWO people — me and him. Mail order company. No one ever came to the office. I said hose are expensive and you don’t pay me enough and no one comes in here…

I live in the South but this may not be a Southern thing. But as long as I’ve lived here — 30+ years — whenever there is an after work social event or even a non-work social event, it never fails that the men all end up in one room talking “manly things” and the women are all left around the table talking women stuff,…

These clues sound like song lyrics.

Perhaps she should have worn Dick Cheney's ski cap and parka.

It will be separate but I'm sure very equal.

Nicholas Sparks is the Danielle Steele of Hollywood.

They spelled it wrong. It should be "not"ting