Well, you can’t spell “Jeurys Familia, NYM” without “injures my family.”

I’m sorry but I don’t believe these reports. As a Mets fan, I can tell you Familia can’t beat anyone in October.

If I were a Chargers fan, I would love to rock a Drew Brees jersey....

“What’s the sport that’s the most fun to play but least fun to watch?”

Given that Cutler has worked with almost no positive stability in Chicago (including at least five offensive coordinators and suffering through the Lovie Smith era), he couldn’t have been part of a winning formula at any point. The Bears have either had terrible defenses, shoddy offensive pieces, subpar coaching or…

She’s just corrupt man. She’s never achieved anything on her own.

I hope the NFL figures out a goddamn way to put the Super Bowl on President’s Day weekend. The fact that I currently can’t sleep my bourbon-induced hangover off in peace is, to put it simply, fucking un-American.

To me, flavored vodka is regular vodka’s way of telling you, “Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. You and I—in my full strength and cheapest form—will be better friends about 20 years down the road after your divorce and job loss. See ya then!”

What I do is DVR the game I’m interested in watching, and then actually start watching it around the start of the second half. By the time you catch up to live while skipping commercials there’s generally only a minute or two left in the game.

When they started using injuries as an excuse to squeeze in more commercials, the whole thing got shittier. Football already had too many commercials and interruptions as it was. Then, some asshole decided to combine that problem with the hip new problem of people noticing injuries into one big fucking super-problem.…

Well it’s the Mets so I’m sure everything will work out for the best.

“If you haven’t seen first-hand how fast these things can escalate, you’re making a huge jump about him having over-reacted...”

I get that, but all I can think is, “oh my god, stop saying ‘fuck’ so much, the teacher is RIGHT there.”

70% of teachers are white women while over 50% of teachers are black or brown kids? Well I hope you teach math, fine sir.

faze [feyz]

Easily more action than a Floyd Mayweather fight. Same amount of punches towards a woman as a night at Floyd’s house though.

Who the eff attends college sports events in chinos and a collared shirt? Do they all have interviews after the game?

For a post-barf, post 2x fights mugshot, tackled by police 2x...you can’t convince me that is a bad pic.

poor fucking Beltran. it pains me as a met fan to see how shitty other met fans are to him. HE BROKE HIS FUCKING FACE ON SOMEONE ELSES FACE FOR US

That pitch also made Endy Chavez’s incredible catch a forgotten footnote of history.