I hope the NFL figures out a goddamn way to put the Super Bowl on President’s Day weekend. The fact that I currently can’t sleep my bourbon-induced hangover off in peace is, to put it simply, fucking un-American.

To me, flavored vodka is regular vodka’s way of telling you, “Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. You and I—in my full strength and cheapest form—will be better friends about 20 years down the road after your divorce and job loss. See ya then!”

What I do is DVR the game I’m interested in watching, and then actually start watching it around the start of the second half. By the time you catch up to live while skipping commercials there’s generally only a minute or two left in the game.

When they started using injuries as an excuse to squeeze in more commercials, the whole thing got shittier. Football already had too many commercials and interruptions as it was. Then, some asshole decided to combine that problem with the hip new problem of people noticing injuries into one big fucking super-problem.…

More Women in media!

Well it’s the Mets so I’m sure everything will work out for the best.

“If you haven’t seen first-hand how fast these things can escalate, you’re making a huge jump about him having over-reacted...”

I get that, but all I can think is, “oh my god, stop saying ‘fuck’ so much, the teacher is RIGHT there.”

70% of teachers are white women while over 50% of teachers are black or brown kids? Well I hope you teach math, fine sir.

faze [feyz]

Easily more action than a Floyd Mayweather fight. Same amount of punches towards a woman as a night at Floyd’s house though.

Who the eff attends college sports events in chinos and a collared shirt? Do they all have interviews after the game?

For a post-barf, post 2x fights mugshot, tackled by police 2x...you can’t convince me that is a bad pic.

DVR. Never watch live Fast forward all commercials. Screw the commercial sponsor/television business model.

Counterpoint : if you don’t read the comics, avoided the chatter and conjecture all summer and just watched the show last night, like I did, it was totally worth it.

poor fucking Beltran. it pains me as a met fan to see how shitty other met fans are to him. HE BROKE HIS FUCKING FACE ON SOMEONE ELSES FACE FOR US

The last pitch gets all the attention, but the one I bet Beltran thinks about the most is the first one. Wainwright gave him a very hittable pitch, but with the bases loaded and facing a rookie pitcher, Beltran (understandably) was taking all the way. The next pitch he gave a good cut but fouled off, and then…

BUT Jolie is nowhere near as hot as Scarlett! :)

That pitch also made Endy Chavez’s incredible catch a forgotten footnote of history.

Thanks for this great article, Barry. I am looking forward to the one tomorrow about that time my nana died.