I broke a bad spill with my hands on the first run on a five-day HS ski trip. My left thumb bent back so far it touched my wrist. I broke a bone and screwed up some cartilage and whatnot. No way was I missing out on four days of skiing I had already paid for, so I iced it every morning and night, taped it up, and…

I’ve had a paper cut ON MY EYE

If Gbaker is a Mets fan like me, he has an excuse. We are spoiled by the otherwordly-great team doing out local games.

Met fan here. Buster Posey beats you, you tip your cap to a great player. Pence too. Heck, even if Angel Pagan does, you think “Good for him, former Met.” Conor Gillaspie? Who the fuck is Conor Gillaspie? Fucking guy can’t spell either of his names right!

Only commies put money in the Free Parking spot. Something for nothing, a bailout from the establishment. The Liberal dream.

complicated and racist voter ID laws

That is exactly what’s going to happen if Trump wins. Trump is a moron, plain and simple. The man hasn’t put together a cogent sentence in over a year on the campaign trail. He’ll sit in the White House as a figurehead, making dopey pronouncements, and meanwhile actual grownups will run things. Donald won’t even…

The dems would have been better off putting a cardboard cutout of the Joker with word balloons that said “Release your taxes” and “Mexicans are rapists”. It would have been less annoying and got the same thing accomplished. Trump is an imbecile but he certainly seems smarter than Kaine.

When Kaine couldn’t wait 30 seconds without interrupting, ever, it was over. Someone needs to check that guy’s ADD meds, because he came off more than a little retardy.

$200? Shit, that’s probably face for a Mets playoff game. Bring lunch from home for a month or two and treat yo’self.

What?! NO!!

Regular season baseball is a six month narrative. If you are into your team it’s incredibly rewarding. The day-to-day stuff, guys getting hot, slumping, redemption, new guys up from the minors, the behind-the-scenes stuff... it’s like a soap opera. It helps if you have great announcers, which my team (Mets) does.

Reyes is working out just fine for the Mets, thanks.

I thought the panty story was gonna end way worse. Like they had a huge visible skid mark on them, or he got a handful of menses. He saw her drawers? BFD!

Seriously, guys who are worried they don’t look manly or cool have bigger things to worry about. “Oh no, I’m carrying a diaper bag! What if Biff and the varsity guys see me?!” You have a kid, ergo you have a diaper bag. You’re not walking around wearing a NAMBLA sandwich board. Also, there is room for beer in a…

“tell the employee that you no longer want the sandwich but make sure they know you don’t think it’s their fault”

“Huge bite of steak? Wash it down with milk.”

Slimy and smelly nuts. I need to not drink before shopping.

According to the diagnosis, I have an eating disorder. And here I thought I was just an old fat guy who really likes to eat.

The NBA is more racist. Look at those monochromatic rosters!