Seriously, guys who are worried they don’t look manly or cool have bigger things to worry about. “Oh no, I’m carrying a diaper bag! What if Biff and the varsity guys see me?!” You have a kid, ergo you have a diaper bag. You’re not walking around wearing a NAMBLA sandwich board. Also, there is room for beer in a…

“tell the employee that you no longer want the sandwich but make sure they know you don’t think it’s their fault”

“Huge bite of steak? Wash it down with milk.”

Slimy and smelly nuts. I need to not drink before shopping.

According to the diagnosis, I have an eating disorder. And here I thought I was just an old fat guy who really likes to eat.

The NBA is more racist. Look at those monochromatic rosters!

“Baltimore sports fans have well-founded conspiracy theories of leaguewide disdain for Baltimore’s teams.”

That’s the problem. People aren’t conditioned to/don’t want to/aren’t smart enough to follow a lengthy narrative like a baseball season almost every night for 6 months. It’s unfortunate, because when you do it is far and away the most rewarding sport. Basketball is ludicrous - which guy can jump the highest, with…

You new here?

Jimmy Page is fine, relaxing in his mansion with a model about 1/4 his age, laughing his balls off that people pay $300 to see this special-needs motherfucker perform.

50-year-old, lifelong New Yorker here. Your opinion is bad. Stinky bums aggressively hassling people for money, the threat of robbery and worse around every corner at all hours, and every surface covered with inscrutable spray paint messages wasn’t “soul”, it was shit. Hopefully it’ll never be back, despite…

And there’s the issue: we’re spending $2 billion for “airy, open and pleasant”. It’s functional - leave it alone. Spend it on transportation for underserved areas. Like a rail link to Staten Island. Trolleys or whatever in the areas of Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx that have nothing. Fast ferries from midtown to…

Why does the otherwise stunningly gorgeous ‘71 Eldorado have trunk louvers? Wouldn’t your stuff get wet when it rains?

Me too... 10th overall pick, 5th WR taken (after AB, ODB, Julio and Hopkins). Loving him.

I daily drove old cars from high school through my late 30s. The only reason I bought a “new” car was I needed something to leave at a train station for my commute. I still have my ‘66 Ford and take it everywhere. It’s nice enough to draw comments and have fun in, but not worth so much that I panic someone might…

I am gringo. First time I ordered tamales I tried to eat it like a mini-burrito. Apparently you’re not supposed to do that.

Use “Buckwheat” instead, like Roger from Wiseguy. Hilarity ensued the first time he used it on a black guy.

Hillary didn’t call “black people” superpredators. She called a very small, very specific subset of piece-of-shit gangbanging career criminal remorseless scumbags superpredators. The kids who were literally destroying their communities. Who weren’t just committing simple property crimes but were blasting away in…

Because the vast majority of those people killed were doing something to warrant it at the time. And now a bunch of hucksters have started a left-wing movement around it.

I bought a can of boiled peanuts a while ago because I was intrigued; also sometimes I get buzzed before grocery shopping. What do I do with these? Eat them out of the can? Do I heat them up? Add anything?