Pepperoni is the pizza topping of choice for 8-year-olds and Irish-Americans. Both are likely to enjoy their slices with a big glass of milk.

Not one of the friends on Facebook I’ve noticed has actually addressed Kaepernick’s point about cops executing black people with impunity

I wonder how many people knew Kapernick was partly black before all of this.

Yeah, I didn’t realize what a dumbass Kapernick was.

One of my college buddies became a Bengals fan because he lived near Esiason in LI. He eventually reverted back to his childhood team: the Jets. I don’t envy him.

What the hell?

If only there were something poor people could do to prevent children they can’t afford from just appearing out of thin air. Like, some sort of inexpensive (often free) device. Or certain behavior they could refrain from engaging in. Ah well, one can only dream of such things.

The Giants are practically the definition of bland and generic. Their offense was utterly predictable for decades. Their team colors are the most unoriginal combination there is, and their logo is the team name. The only people making noise at their home games are fans of the other team; the Giants fans are all 70+…

Early 90s NFL on TV was rough for this New Yorker. You young’uns weren’t around before the fancy cable packages and NFL Ticket. Back then you got whatever your local affiliate gave you and that was it. Which generally meant the 1:00 Giants game, and then 8 episodes of the moribund Jets playing equally sad-sack,…

I was dating my future wife for almost a year and had miraculously not exposed her to my flatus in all that time. No small feat, for I am a gassy man.

That would have been pushing the limits of my wife’s tolerance.

Once in a mostly empty theater waiting for a movie to start, I felt an ill wind brewing. So when the lights went down, in that moment of silence before the film started, I lifted a cheek and let loose a mighty blast - loud, long, and even a little modulated so it went higher at the end. It was timed perfectly.…

95% of Philadelphia hometown pride is yelling “New York Sucks!” at people. My first exposure to this inferiority complex was when I went away to school in PA. I was like “Oh... we’re supposed to be rivals?”.

Rivalries in general only matter in the two (or one!) towns. I can’t imagine anyone in Seattle gives a shit when the Yankees are playing the Bosox. Any more than people in NY care if the Cubs are playing the Cardinals, or the Giants facing the Dodgers (except if there’s murder, then we’ll read about it).

Last year the theme was how RAYCESS every fan base was, so this is an improvement.

What the hell?! Do you eat the palm fronds?

This lineup is very underrated. They are not a nostalgia act, and Zak is a splendid drummer.

I’d be shocked if Gene Simmons hasn’t already set this plan up for when he is too old to get on stage anymore.

I ran out of rolls last week and made a salami-and-cheese on a Trader Joe’s everything bagel to take to work. And it was fantastic.

The Yardbirds go around on tour. Wooh - the Yardbirds! Jeff Beck! Eric Clapton! Jimmy Page!!!! Fuck yeah, let’s go see the Yardbirds.