It’s nice to have. Spur-of-the-moment invitations to formal events, fancy dinner night on cruises, James Bond role play...

This guy seems to have got away with it. It wasn’t a serious crime family, they were amateurs. One of my pals is in Law Enforcement and ran his ID and is pretty sure he tracked him down out in the midwest, alive and well and living under his real name.

Definitely different for guys. I would never ask one of my friends, not even the guys I’ve known since junior high, to pay for me. You offer, there’s no embarrassment there.

$700 for a tux? You can get a generic one in a department store for like $150 including a cheap shirt/tie/cummerbund package.

In my college years I was broke, and made very little money my first couple years after college. My one buddy was into going to clubs, eating at good restaurants, all that. He had a job “off the books” and was apparently making a fortune. I was just honest and said “Dude, I can’t afford any of this”, and he was all “I…

We had the same problem in my early 30s with my wife’s friends. We all had young kids and despite all being in roughly the same financial straits, none of them ever had money to go on a vacation together. Cruise, beach house, even a long weekend at Hershey Park, they’d always be crying poverty. Of course, all these…

Yeah, that line needed to end at “Nah, I’m broke AF.”

Hopefully Ventura will face Thor. That’ll be fun.

“Once, just once I’d like to see the flight response take over and the pitcher sprint into the outfield away from the charging hitter.”

“...if I were one of our star position players taking at-bats, I would be livid.”

No one important (e.g., Murricans).

Elitist

To be fair, I also mentioned Pele because everyone knows him. And Mia Hamm, whom we all remember because she is cute. But Messi? C’mon. Niche sport in America. Don’t care.

I didn’t say no one cared... just that they didn’t give it a second thought. Happened a long time ago. Basically what you said.

You save those thinly-disguised immigration metaphors for the Trump rallies, you!

One time we had the All-Star Game HR Derby on, and I wasn’t really paying attention. Until my wife yelled “Oh my God, will you mute this or something?!!!” Berman’s all hoarse and winded, shouting the same stupid shit after every homer: “Whoaahhh!!! He hit that one all the way to (wheeeze) the Potomac!!!!!”. It was…

“I love eating pepperoni slices as a snack.”

Ah, that’s my problem! I vigorously avoid ESPN, favoring SNY, MLB Network and NFL Network in-season. I can’t take the risk of being subjected to Berman. How in the fuck has that guy been in broadcasting for 30+ years and never learned breath control? He starts shouting his nonsense over highlights and gets all out of…

You are right. I think it’s Obama. Soon it just might be Trump, which is both terrifying and hilarious.

“We’re talking about the most famous person in the world, not the USA.”