Hopefully Ventura will face Thor. That’ll be fun.

“Once, just once I’d like to see the flight response take over and the pitcher sprint into the outfield away from the charging hitter.”

“...if I were one of our star position players taking at-bats, I would be livid.”

No one important (e.g., Murricans).

Elitist

To be fair, I also mentioned Pele because everyone knows him. And Mia Hamm, whom we all remember because she is cute. But Messi? C’mon. Niche sport in America. Don’t care.

I didn’t say no one cared... just that they didn’t give it a second thought. Happened a long time ago. Basically what you said.

You save those thinly-disguised immigration metaphors for the Trump rallies, you!

One time we had the All-Star Game HR Derby on, and I wasn’t really paying attention. Until my wife yelled “Oh my God, will you mute this or something?!!!” Berman’s all hoarse and winded, shouting the same stupid shit after every homer: “Whoaahhh!!! He hit that one all the way to (wheeeze) the Potomac!!!!!”. It was…

“I love eating pepperoni slices as a snack.”

Ah, that’s my problem! I vigorously avoid ESPN, favoring SNY, MLB Network and NFL Network in-season. I can’t take the risk of being subjected to Berman. How in the fuck has that guy been in broadcasting for 30+ years and never learned breath control? He starts shouting his nonsense over highlights and gets all out of…

You are right. I think it’s Obama. Soon it just might be Trump, which is both terrifying and hilarious.

“We’re talking about the most famous person in the world, not the USA.”

“I tend to think Cristiano Ronaldo has ascended towards the top”

Yeah, it’s a pretty vague term. I was thinking in terms of recognizability.

Ali did not die the most famous man in the world. He hadn’t spoken a word in public in 20 years, and no one had even seen him in like 10. He was a ghost already.

No socks. Foot powder.

Now you know how conservatives feel when we decry laughably low sentences and outright releases of shitbag criminals.

At least maybe they can. In NYC we’re stuck with judges until they die.

It’s better than “We must wear the clothing popularized by important rabbis in 18th Century Lithuania at all times, in all seasons.