“there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda”

I do not promote or otherwise espouse the use of Italian seasonings or sauces in ice cream. That was a one-time, addled attempt.

I think they’re multiplying in the linen closet.

Because I am a dirty, greasy man. I need the abrasive power of a sturdy washcloth.

“$100k. That’s two more cops they could have hired.”

This is NYC; they don’t “ask” for higher taxes, they just raise them. Constantly. And tell you you’re a bad person if you don’t want to pay your “fair share”.

I tried the shower poof once and it was not abrasive enough. Nothing beats a coarse washcloth - the more abrasive the better. I would shower with Lava if I could.

Sadly, not this one.

“Anyway, never shut someone down when they decide to break free of cultural norms and test out bold new flavors”

And those are the sumbitch cheater mosquitoes that come out during the day! I’ll be planting tomatoes at 2 in the gott dang afternoon and all of a sudden I have bites all up my leg.

They’re laundered after one use in my house, Pigpen. I am not exaggerating when I say we have over 100, for a three-person household.

“The washcloth was invented to do a job that is now occupied by loofahs and shower poofs”

Sounds more to me that the magic of Zeppelin saved your life. Give thanks to your Dark Master Jimmy.

I refused to say anything about or acknowledge when a Mets pitcher was throwing a no-hitter. It finally worked.

Disney paid a fortune for Marvel and they are not going to abandon TV as a platform for their intellectual properties. If AoS fizzles out in a couple of years (I love the show, myself), they’ll do something else.

Scary-looking. I met him at a bar a couple years before he died and he was the nicest guy.

What would Mase have to be ashamed about - being robbed at gunpoint by this piece of shit? The only person who should be shamed is the ho that was having coitus with that fat tub of goo.

Y’know what would have been awesome? If the truck would have went up onto the car hood and got stuck.

I made cheese and jalapeno cornbread in my cast iron pan once and it was better than sex. Though to be honest, sex with me is pretty terrible.

I don’t understand how people mock mayo as ultra-white. Nothing says non-ethnic ofay more than string bean casserole. Who in their right mind chooses to eat that shit? Runny goop with green beans in it? I am nauseated at the idea of it. And eating those stringy french-cut green beans gives me the douche chills.