So the Chargers punted on Brees, Vick and Eli, and still managed to land Philip Rivers. That thumping sound you hear is Jets fans banging their thick heads against the wall.

I left out the best part of the story: small school and social circle, news travels fast. That night at the bar I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bunch my female friends were comforting me, and apparently a rare view of myself as a vulnerable human and not just a soulless, drunken monster appealed to a couple…

In college I dated a girl who was a classmate’s friend from back home for about 18 months. I really liked her, but wasn’t sure about our future. She resolved it for me with the nicest, most tactful breakup ever. She drove up from her home 1-1/2 hours away on a weekday, and laid out the reasons we should stop seeing…

Those are the lucky ones, who use their talents to “make the logo a little bigger”. Just as many don’t even get into their field. And most that do are replaced by someone fresh out of college in 20 years. My LinkedIn contact list is a depressing roster of middle-aged folks free-lancing, “available”, or “Looking…

As I was finishing high school in the mid-80s, Dad was pushing hard for me to do ROTC and go into the military. “You get to go to college for free, and then you just have to serve a couple of years. It’ll be easy - there’s no wars anymore.” I was a rebellious drunkard with a mullet, and ignored his advice. Couple…

If the job was fun, they wouldn’t have to pay you to do it. It’s called a hobby.

No one is taking a date here if they haven’t already completed the coitus with them, because seeing someone naked for the first time in this environment is ludicrous. So now you’re taking your GF to a nude restaurant and desperately trying not to look too much at the other naked people, because that will start a…

“Was in a kind of dull relationship ...my GF at the time and I had engaged in threesomes...”

I only had one friend who was in a rent-stabilized/controlled building. His landlord was desperate to get him out, I think he eventually got like $40K to leave.

I know some guys who formed an investment group and bought houses in a college town to rent to students. The key is to get their parents’ home phone numbers. When kids are graduating and don’t want to pay for all the damage, they would call the parents and advise them that their son (yeah, it’s almost always boys) is…

No, they’re going to be walking around with their hands out whining about how they are on a fixed income and can’t afford to live here anymore, and the sensitive politicians will just jack up my property taxes to pay for the irresponsible to be housed on my dime. It’s like that grasshopper and the ant fairy tale.…

Would make me run towards. Chimes are supremely annoying. I cut down a neighbor’s in the middle of the night while he was away one time. My deep thoughts require stillness.

Wind chimes should be outlawed. Who the fuck wants to hear that damn tinkling all day, every day?!

I have a lot of friends who never bought, and have paid Manhattan rents for decades. Setting aside the scandalous amount they have handed to someone over the years... I just don’t understand their plan for the future. Most of them have minimal savings, because Manhattan living is expensive. And they have no big…

In a (not-so-) great irony, New York City annually raises homeowners’ property taxes, and spends billions on publicly-funded “affordable housing” for the failures who can’t afford to pay market rents. As opposed to my plan, which is “If you can’t afford the rent in NYC, go live in New Jersey”.

I bought my house in ‘97 when rates were at like 6% for a 30-year. A few years later rates plummeted and we refinanced to a 3% or so 15-year for about the same monthly payment. We then prepaid like mad and were done with the mortgage by 2009 or so. The joy of not sweating your living arrangements can’t be overstated.…

You read my mind!

Wedding is one thing, but you really need to try and synchronize child-bearing with your friends. I was among the first of my pals to get married, and had my kid a solid 5+ years before the next guy took the plunge.

In Game 162 of his last season in NY Jose Reyes lead off the utterly meaningless game with a bunt single and promptly left, more or less assuring himself the batting title. The first batting title ever for a Met, and the first positive thing that happened for us in about 5 years. The outcry from self-certified…

God no. He has to live forever.