We used to get a membership to the WCS and go to all the zoos (and Coney Island Aquarium) in NYC. They are awesome in the off-months. Go to the Prospect Park Zoo on one of those weirdly warm days in February, the animals outnumber the people.

We took my wife’s car. I walked back and said “Hey, I need a couple of wet-boys, I can’t get a good wipe.” When she was done laughing at me she advised that she didn’t have any either in the car or her bag. It was vexing. Reminds me to make sure there are some in the car Friday.

Strongly disagree with Drew’s assessment of zoo trips with the kids. It’s virtually line-free. You go at your own pace, so you can stare at the gorillas for an hour if you want, and breeze through the Bird House like it’s the women’s wing of the basketball hall of fame. There are places to sit and chill everywhere.…

I had to drop a deuce in a Port-O-San while tailgating outside the world series last year (a couple of hours before Daniel Murphy dropped his - Hey-OOOO). Hoverdump and stood to wipe because, Port-O-San.

Came here to post this. The all-time indelible/ultimately meaningless play. Made Willie’s catch off Vic Wertz look like a can o’ corn.

I play with my college buddies annually. Sometimes just a round, sometimes a long weekend with 2 or 3 or 4. It’s the only time I play or even hit balls, so I am terrible. It’s OK because we’re all drinking and goofing around, but we could do that in a bar and save $120 (they’re golf snobs and always want to play fancy…

For my money, nothing beats this gem when Trump was asked whom he consults with on foreign policy: “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.”

Soooo... you should only become a cop if you want to get shot? If you like it?

You just have to make sure there’s no prepayment penalty. Read the contract very carefully. If it’s not in there, they can’t try and pull it on you later.

Honda dealers also think they’re selling fucking Faberge eggs or something. “Oh, we don’t bargain. These are Hondas.” Have a nice day, jagoff.

Curious: how do you get the “internet sales guy”? Is it just emailing a sales person? I’ve gone on a few dealer websites and they don’t offer up this person.

I had a Chrysler dealer pull that on me when buying a leftover in September when the new models were on the lot. I called and told them I would be paying cash, and repeated it upon entering the dealership. After jerking me around for a couple hours trying to upsell me on trim levels or a new model-year (and chasing me…

Yeah, it’s so boring when a sport requires thought and strategy. Guys running up and down a court taking jumpshots is way more stimulating.

“you get to celebrate on opening day in front of the team you beat, which almost never happens.”

The best shopping day of the year is Easter Monday, where I zoom from drugstore to drugstore buying all the 50% off Cadbury Eggs. Regular, caramel, and the fantastic chocolate goo ones. I then eat a couple per day for weeks on end and life is grand.

That’s certainly an excellent way to express displeasure with tuition hikes - yell while a guy who makes poop jokes on the internet gives a talk.

The worst part of these laws is that women are going to take a look at the enormous line for the ladies room at the bar/ballpark/beach, glance over at one guy waiting for the men’s room, and declare themselves as Identifying as Male, and make the line for MY bathroom really long.

If M&N sell a Piazza jersey, I’m shocked that’s not #1.

Believe it or not, yes it does. I can’t imagine how on earth they would enforce it, though. Maybe they’ll hire a legion of Health Nannies who will go around checking people’s mouths during the game. “Hey, what do you have in there?! And don’t you think two hot dogs is enough?”

When I was like 9, one of the neighborhood kids swiped a pack of his Mom’s cigarettes. We all tried smoking and choked our lungs out. Sitting in our little fort in the woods, I came up with a brilliant idea: “Hey, let’s take the tobacco out of the cigarettes and chew it like the ballplayers do!”