If pitchers want to be the enforcers of the baseball code and plunk everyone who displeases them, then they need to be men and face the repercussions of their decision. By which I mean, this is yet another reason to get rid of the abhorrent DH. I don’t understand why no one ever put Bob Gibson in the hospital.

What was wrong with “clown question”? The reporter was being an asshole, and instead of calling him such Harper let him know it without as much profanity or disrespect.

So you voluntarily waste your own time so as not to inconvenience others? OK, Mother Teresa.

That is the Social Compact. You judge silently. Anyone who has what to say is an asshole.

And not using elevators is taking a job away from an elevator maintenance man. It’s like people who say you shouldn’t take a shit on the floor in the movies.

I work on the second floor and I take the elevator up every morning. I have a 1.5-mile walk to the office so by then I have had quite enough exercise, thank you.

To each his own. Sure, sometimes I envy them. And sometimes they envy me.

So if someone has different goals or another outlook on life, you call him a loser... yet I’m the small-minded one?

Soaps and detergents go on this list. Do a load of laundry with store brand stuff and your clothes are still dirty and don’t smell nice. Might as well just soak them in a puddle. And any dish soap other than Dawn is worthless - you put a tablespoon on your sponge and get about 4 suds no matter how you scrub.

It is well-established that Republicans are more charitable givers and volunteer more than Democrats. (Sources: Huffington Post, The Chronicle of Philanthropy, The Federal Agency for Service and Volunteering.) If you count stuff like hand-wringing over who had more Oscar nominations, you might have a point.

I like to steal towels from vacation. Partly for the thrill of being Linen The Kid, partly because some are damn fine towels. I currently dry off with a jazzy Norwegian Cruise Line number that is enormous, thick as a comforter, and absorbent as a giant sponge. The wife doesn’t mind because it actually matches our…

Wow! I didn’t know anything about him. And the Missus never watched Days so I didn’t know he was even on that show.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Italian parents would prefer their kids live with them until they die. Mine were happy to have me, despite being a dopey drunk a lot of the time. I gave them some food money for a while but once I got serious about buying a house they didn’t care that I stopped. I feel bad your parents…

Winner. See the part about owning home outright. I am currently building intergenerational wealth.

You aren’t getting an apartment anywhere in NYC for $350 a month, and I’d venture it’s the same for most desirable metropolitan locations. More realistically: you are going to pay about $2500/month, and help a property owner build equity, while you shovel money out the door never to be seen again.

What kind of idiots ran this hotel? A while ago traveling with family I needed to call my brother-in-law’s hotel room but didn’t remember which room # was his. I called the front desk and they refused to tell me for security purposes. Yet these Nashville geniuses thought nothing of giving out the room number of a…

Curious by what you mean about being the worst in real life. We’re big fans of his terrible work, tell us more!

My wife despised Watchmen because one of the characters attempted to rape another, but later they had an affair resulting in a child. On and on she went about how ridiculous and appalling and disgusting it was. My response was those three words: Luke and Laura.

The best thing about the 50th anniversary was the return of Stavros. That guy is flat-out the worst actor in history, but it’s beautiful because he knows it and hams it up to no end. We were in stitches.

Another good response is “Ugh, I’m still hung over from last night” Or two days ago, or whatever.