You want to really feel old? Try making 1st-gen SNL references. “No Coke, Pepsi” and “You like the juice? The juice is good.” got blank stares. Discussing a medication that treats two conditions at work, I added “It’s a dessert - and a floor topping!” and people thought I was having a breakdown of sorts. I decided not…

The handful of NYC residents who give a shit about hockey are Rangers fans. They marry other Ranger fans. Their kids are Ranger fans. No one is going to switch to the Islanders. And few if any non-fans are going to take up following an expensive niche sport because a team moved to Brooklyn. This isn’t a case like the…

Way too many dillholes trying too hard here with the “What is a Gronk?” comments. Oh, you’re so arch and witty. You’re on a fucking (nominally) sporto website and you’re going to pretend not to know the best TE in the NFL?

She kept your sister in a drawer? That’s awful!

It’s been a very long time since I tried - probably 7 or 8 years. I read an article about the place over 10 years ago, possibly in New York magazine, touting it as one of the best pizzerias in NY (and therefore the world). And they mentioned that you had to get there early, I found that the case - twice we tried to…

Pregnancy is far in the rear view mirror. She didn’t puke once. Never really felt nauseous either. Ate like a death row inmate on his last meal and gained 60 lbs. Which was spectacular for a 5'3 gal.

There’s a pizzeria in Brooklyn called Totonno’s, run by the same old guy for decades. He makes however many pies he feels like making that day, and when they’re gone he closes for the day. I’ve gotten there three times in the early afternoon and been shut out.

My wife just barfed for the first time (other than infancy) on vacation last month. Some food at the resort did her in. It was the day before her 50th birthday. She has this irrational, visceral aversion to puking, and no matter how sick she was she would always fight it off, preferring to hold it in even though she…

When I was a little kid I threw up a couple of hours after my mom made me eat sauerkraut. Partially digested sauerkraut is NOT something you want to experience. It burned, it tasted terrible, the smell was unholy, and it catches in your throat and nose and makes you gag even more.

Argh.

It’s very simple. Make a hit like this, lead with your head in any fashion, intentionally strike an opponent’s helmet, and you’re ejected immediately, suspended for your next game without pay. That’ll end this stuff right quick.

The thing I remember most vividly was the network cutting into the Knicks game. Are you kidding me? It’s a guy riding around in a truck! Put the damn game back on!!

The changes the Title IX nuts are demanding are horrifying: no due process for the accused, no presumption of innocence, burden of proof on the accused and not the accuser. One activist actually said it’s preferable for innocent men to be found guilty by these star chambers than for anyone to possibly evade…

This issue is utter nonsense. If you have been sexually (or otherwise) assaulted, why would you complain to the school? The school who possibly profits from the endeavors of the attacker, and at minimum has a reputation that stands to benefit by burying charges. This is why we have police and courts.

I have only heard of 6 of those bands. And only recall hearing songs by two (Panic... because my daughter, and Wolfmother because a friend said I as a Zeppelin fan would like them).

Or get a louder radio. Top down / windows up is the sign of a monstrous toolbag. I’ve had convertibles for almost 30 years and I have literally never, not once, driven that way.

A fun way to liven up the occasion is to write a really goofy (hyper-religious, weird, angry, non-sequitur) message and sign it with a name of someone who doesn’t work there. I did it at one job for 18 months. Every now and then someone would be like “Who the fuck is Wayne?”.

“I got a REAL problem with hotel-room sheets. They’re beyond worthless.”

Bud is bland macro-brew suitable only for volume consumption, but that part in the commercial where the guy flicked the lemon off his beer was pretty great.

Jay-Z is a drug dealer who became a famous rapper thanks to a novelty song that sampled Little Orphan Annie. His wife is an overhyped marginal talent whose main claim to fame is clomping around on stage like a 4-year-old trying on mom’s high heels. Not much to see here.