My wife just barfed for the first time (other than infancy) on vacation last month. Some food at the resort did her in. It was the day before her 50th birthday. She has this irrational, visceral aversion to puking, and no matter how sick she was she would always fight it off, preferring to hold it in even though she…

When I was a little kid I threw up a couple of hours after my mom made me eat sauerkraut. Partially digested sauerkraut is NOT something you want to experience. It burned, it tasted terrible, the smell was unholy, and it catches in your throat and nose and makes you gag even more.

Argh.

It’s very simple. Make a hit like this, lead with your head in any fashion, intentionally strike an opponent’s helmet, and you’re ejected immediately, suspended for your next game without pay. That’ll end this stuff right quick.

The thing I remember most vividly was the network cutting into the Knicks game. Are you kidding me? It’s a guy riding around in a truck! Put the damn game back on!!

The changes the Title IX nuts are demanding are horrifying: no due process for the accused, no presumption of innocence, burden of proof on the accused and not the accuser. One activist actually said it’s preferable for innocent men to be found guilty by these star chambers than for anyone to possibly evade…

This issue is utter nonsense. If you have been sexually (or otherwise) assaulted, why would you complain to the school? The school who possibly profits from the endeavors of the attacker, and at minimum has a reputation that stands to benefit by burying charges. This is why we have police and courts.

I have only heard of 6 of those bands. And only recall hearing songs by two (Panic... because my daughter, and Wolfmother because a friend said I as a Zeppelin fan would like them).

Or get a louder radio. Top down / windows up is the sign of a monstrous toolbag. I’ve had convertibles for almost 30 years and I have literally never, not once, driven that way.

A fun way to liven up the occasion is to write a really goofy (hyper-religious, weird, angry, non-sequitur) message and sign it with a name of someone who doesn’t work there. I did it at one job for 18 months. Every now and then someone would be like “Who the fuck is Wayne?”.

“I got a REAL problem with hotel-room sheets. They’re beyond worthless.”

Bud is bland macro-brew suitable only for volume consumption, but that part in the commercial where the guy flicked the lemon off his beer was pretty great.

Jay-Z is a drug dealer who became a famous rapper thanks to a novelty song that sampled Little Orphan Annie. His wife is an overhyped marginal talent whose main claim to fame is clomping around on stage like a 4-year-old trying on mom’s high heels. Not much to see here.

“Republicanism has become an industry of outrage”

The “reporters” ask the most insipid questions, I’m surprised more athletes don’t go off. Like the dingbat interviewing Manning right after the game. “What does this mean to you?”

I was on a flight from LA to NY once, seated next to an older Indian gentleman. I only mention his ethnicity to stress how yogi-like he was: bone-thin and despite wearing a suit, he sat curled up with his feet on his seat the entire flight. He was a fascinating man - we had a great, hours-long chat about everything -…

I had a 6 AM or so flight one time, which meant I had a 3 AM wakeup call that day. I board the plane, and three old ladies sit in the row ahead of me. Look, I get you are excited to see each other, and that you are on an aeroplane, but it’s 5:40 AM. Shut the Fuck UP. They hooted and hollered and cackled and laughed…

You have to rush to get on and get some overhead space before the jagoffs with rolling suitcases and enormous backpacks take it all.

Great googly moogly, why don’t airlines enforce the carry-on limitations? Those massive wheely-bags that only fit sideways in the overhead, taking up the whole compartment, NEED TO BE CHECKED. And you’re allowed a carry-on and a personal item. The personal item is a small purse. Maybe a laptop carrier. It is decidedly…

I have no problem with a slight recliner in front of me. But if you lay down like it’s your damn Barcalounger in your living room and you refuse my polite request to move up a little bit, you’ll enjoy my periodic renditions of Moby Dick, Toad, and the Hot For Teacher intro on the back of your chair for the next 4…