You have to read the fine print. Last time I bought a new car (11 years ago) they would only give us the (sharply discounted) price if we financed through the dealer. We read the contract and there was no pre-payment penalty so we said OK, made the first payment and drove home. Three weeks later we cut a check for the…

And then, especially if you have a daughter, she will turn 13 and all hell will break loose. Your pal that watched movies with you, played games,liked to hang out? She’ll be replaced by a sullen, sarcastic, snappish, insulting, nasty, bi-polar-ish, eye-rolling monster who will want nothing to do with you. This will…

In NYC people lose their shit and start screaming about impeaching the Mayor if the streets aren’t plowed dead clean immediately following a snowfall. Manhattan streets have plows going over them repeatedly at first flake and are bone-dry within 20 minutes of the end of a snowfall. Yet I guarantee half the people who…

In New York City, my wife and 20-year-old daughter wave out the window and laugh at me. Sometimes they wave cups of hot cocoa.

A couple months cold weather > earthquakes + wildfires + mudslides + riots.

Actually, the street hoop gets old fast. My brother-in-law’s neighbor had one for a while and it was oppressive. Balls bouncing for hours, kids screaming. Just because it’s daytime doesn’t mean you want to hear that shit non-stop. There’s a park three blocks away that everyone pays a buttload of taxes for, go there.

I drove a ‘74 Monte Carlo with fat mags in college. I found a set of rims and some used snow tires and never got stuck once in NE PA winters in a hilly town. I used to deliver pizza in blizzards and made a ton in tips from people blown away I was out in that shit with a hot rod.

Last year my daughter had to come home from college SB weekend, and I had to drive her back Sunday night. I DVRed the Super Bowl, and it was fantastic. I got home after it was over. I watched the commercials, and the live game action (hitting the 30 second advance arrow after each play is almost perfect). No replays…

I’m with you. The only reason I got cable is to watch the Mets here in NYC. The only other cable nets I would miss would be the quality drama ones like FX and AMC, and I guess I could Netflix Zombie shows and The Americans.

Watch baseball. Read. Work on cars. Watch TV and movies. Collect antiques and comics. Grow flowers and tomatoes. Goof off on the internet. Cook. Hang out with like-minded friends. There’s a lot to do out there that doesn’t involve living and dying with the exploits of millionaire imbeciles and enriching their…

That is lunacy. Chocolate, ideally with some peanut butter additive.

Have stuck with the team of my youth through this years’ world series.

That is optimal pancake.

When the NY Giants cut my favorite player (Simms) 20+ years ago I stopped rooting for them. When Mark Messier made a big show about being a Ranger for Life and not caring if he was the highest-paid player on the team and almost immediately took more $ to play in Vancouver, I was done with them. And when the Knicks…

Mint flavoring belongs in one thing: mints. Mint cookies, mint liquors, mint milk, mint ice cream, mint chocolates are all garbage. I don’t want my cookies to taste like damn Certs, thank you very little.

Everyone watches all the antiques shows on TV and thinks anything 40 years old is gonna put their kids through college. And most decent antique furniture is vastly overpriced - like a multiple of 5 or 10.

When I was a kid my neighbor was on the NYPD and took us to the Police/Firemen hockey game at MSG. You have never seen anything like this outside of Slapshot. Rescue Me totally undersold the violence. These lunatics just beat on each other for hours, and the drunks in the stands were worse. It was awesome.

Maybe not tax-FREE, but no one is reporting it all.

Did ESPN not know 8 out of 10 times this would be the case? A 12-year-old could predict ratings would plummet on New Years Eve. Network execs really are among the stupidest people alive.

“Stay away from pick a number between 1 through 10 and War.”