I daily-drove a 72 Beetle convertible for a couple of years in the early 90s. What a blast. It was fun to drive, especially in the summer. NE winters, not so much as the fit was poor and the “heater” did nothing. But it was great in the snow, and got tons of attention. I was single at the time and girls LOVED it.…

I have unnaturally long toes. Like prehensile monkey-level. It makes for interesting conversation sometimes.

When I was growing up there were only three kinds of sauces: Marinara; Meat Sauce (essentially marinara with meatballs, sausages, braciole and a hunk of pork); and once in a while Bolognese. I don’t think I ever heard of Alfredo until my teens. That, and stuff like Puttanesca and Fra Diavolo were for fancy people at…

It is strictly an American thing. When they immigrated and were learning English and acculturating, Italians called the tomato stuff they served with meatballs and the like “gravy” to try and fit in with Americans who called the brown stuff they served with their roasts gravy.

I work with a guy who will send an email to me and within five minutes walk over to announce that he sent me an email, and promptly relate its entire contents. Whether I tell him I already read it, or not. There is definitely something wrong with him.

I have several relatives and friends who do that. As far as I am concerned, if you don’t leave a message or text, it was not an important call and does not need to be returned. They contend it is proper etiquette to return unanswered calls. Nope.

I need to know about a no-shoe situation before I go to someone’s house for the first time, because I have to plan accordingly. First, I have to ensure I am wearing acceptable socks - no holes or threadbare areas, no discolored white socks, no saggy worn-out ones. (Actually, first I have to make sure I am wearing…

My first ad agency holiday party, I had been there slightly more than a month. The new receptionist, a gorgeous young girl, got loaded and passed out in the bathroom. She was completely incoherent, had gotten some vomit on herself, and tore her dress so she was basically lying on the floor in her underwear. The two…

I was working at an ad agency that was circling the drain - we lost several clients, layoffs had begun, people were leaving in droves, morale was plummeting. And the same asshole who was chiefly responsible for all this decided we still needed a holiday party. Instead of having the good sense to just buy some food and…

It was a big table in the back with “Factory defects”. They’re not going to sell you something that is no good, like a cracked pot or a chip in the inside cooking area. These were all perfectly good pieces with flaws in the paint on the outside, or things like that which totally have zero effect on their use. I wish I…

W-S is a veritable bargain basement compared to the assholes at Omaha Steaks. Look at this shit: a pound of steak, 4 small hamburgers, 4 tiny chicken breasts, and some hot dogs for $57 plus shipping?!! (And GTFOOH with the “Reg” price - as if a single person in history ever paid $140 for that.)

Trader Joe’s knockoff Oreos are called Jo-Jos. Around Christmas they sell these little gift-packs with four different flavors of chocolate-covered JoJos. They are spectacular and worth the trip themselves.

This summer we were outlet shopping and I wandered into a Le Creuset shop because I’ve always wanted one of their giant pots. They were having a big clearance sale, and in the back they had a few damaged items for 50% off clearance price. I found the biggest dutch oven they make with a flaw in the paint (a couple of…

I bought three Le Creuset-style mini-dutch ovens in an outlet store for like $3 each one day this summer because they looked really cool and I was mildly buzzed. I still haven’t figured out what to do with them.

Hahaha!

My wife occasionally deals with the public at her job. She recently met an individual whose name was “Sugar Girl Lastname”. Saw her license and everything. Sickest thing was she gave no acknowledgment of how fucking weird it was. Just rattled it off like it was “Susie”.

Now that there is pornhub, all you need are categories.

I live in the most heavily ethnic Italian community in the world outside of Italy. The name Gianna is fairly common and no one I know really associates it with porn. Then again, I am old and if I had to name 5 porn stars I’m gonna be throwing out old-timey ones like Marilyn Chambers and Ginger Lynn. Who the hell even…

Hopefully they’ll also round up the BLM leadership and hold them responsible for the recent cop executions, under the same principle.

I just wash it and put it back on my bed. I don’t think I have folded one in 15 years.