Also: do not touch the coils until the next day. Just because they’re not glowing red doesn’t mean they won’t sear your fingers should you so much as brush against them. Ow.

They’re not “doing absolutely nothing”. They are making sideways peace signs. They are making duck face. If female, they are forming a line and arching their backs.

You know the answer is Yankee fans. 96 was kinda fun and cool for everyone and there were a bunch of good guys on the team including some old Mets. Couple years later, assholes are cheering on Roger Clemens like he’s fucking Whitey Ford and ignoring that more than half the team is using PEDs.

On our way to the in-laws’ for Sunday dinner we would always stop for cake, because that’s what you do. As often as not there would be 10-12 people there, plus us, so we would get a nice but ordinary and thus relatively inexpensive cake. Chocolate mousse for $15, not a $30 cheesecake.

And booze, and clothes, and hair extensions, and phones.

Bring on the revolution because some irresponsible dipshit pumped out 7 kids? Go soak your head.

In NY public transportation is simply a jobs program for the unions that fund the democrat machine. Sort of like the education system. Outcomes don’t matter, only pension sweeteners, raises and bennies in excahnge for election donations and votes.

What’re you talking about? Fred’s a financial genius! “Sure, we owe Bonilla $10 million... but get this: I got him to agree to $1M per year for 25 years! Meanwhile, I’ll make 10x that investing the money up front. I have a guy...”

My wife tried to get me to do that. But I was uninterested in used cheese that this kid had her grubby little fingers all over, and crusts she had bitten. Maybe I’ll eat my own kid’s refuse, not someone else’s.

That doesn’t make ANY sense whatsoever! No sauce on my pizza, and then give me extra sauce. What?

You need to find a better pie supplier. Crusts should be flaky, buttery and delicious.

It’s like the CSI and Law & Order franchises. These cops deal with the worst of humanity - child molesters, rapists, torture-murderers - but reserve their most vitriolic disdain for the guy who says something racist while being questioned.

Sometimes it can’t be avoided - you’re on vacation or something, there’s nothing else around, you have kids that need to eat. First off, you ASK if you can be served, you don’t demand it. And you do stuff fast - order, eat, GTFO. I’ve asked the servers “Whatever you can whip up the fastest”. Be nice. Tip extra.

My Mother in Law is 74 and starting to lose it. We took her to the supermarket this weekend and she just has no idea that there are other people in the store who might like to walk down the aisles. She stops in the middle wherever she is, leaves the cart sideways and stands obliviously staring at stuff. I spent an…

My daughter had a friend in grade school that would only eat pizza from one pizzeria near us, and she would scrape off the sauce and cheese and just eat the dough (but not the crusts). She “ate” half a pie like this and my head damn near exploded because I didn’t have enough to eat.

For years whenever we went out to eat with my wife’s sister’s family it had to be some awful generic chain (we refused to do fast food) because my nephew would eat nothing but chicken nuggets and fries until about age 14. Meanwhile my daughter, 2 years older, was eating literally anything you put in front of her -…

Back when I used to buy the paper every day at a newsstand I would use pennies. Not 50 of them, but maybe 5, sometimes 10. Was a nice way to get rid of change. 75% of the time I would get a look of disgust like I just put a warm turd on the counter. Now they go into a giant novelty Budweiser bottle bank that will…

You should have stayed. The ceremony was salving. I was there and furious at the outcome, but by the end of the celebration I was so overwhelmed to basically see my entire childhood parade before me in my favorite place on earth I was hiding tears from my wife and kid.

June 16 1977. I was 10 years old. I sat down for breakfast and my mom showed me the paper. I thought I would die.

The thing that killed me about the Beltran AB wasn’t that last, unhittable pitch. It’s that he was facing an unnerved rookie who had just completely lost the strike zone and absolutely HAD to start off with a strike. And Carlos just stood there and let a batting practice fastball float by for strike one. The best,…