Or you could go the other way and make up shit from whole cloth. For one term paper I cited “sources” that included an article in the WSJ written by my friend’s infant daughter, books by my cousins, and interviews that never happened.

Oh My God, 3rd Rock was awful. “The cast look like they’re having so much fun!!” Yeah, the viewers, not so much.

Aaaaaahhhh!!!

I’m either calling the cops and charging that woman with assault for spitting on me, or (more likely): “Oh, you’re going to write a letter, are you? I’m going to follow you outside. I’m going to write down the name of your boat. Thanks for telling me where you dock it. Now I know where you hang out and it will be a…

No, the Titans and Texans are the same team. Aren’t they?

During the fin-de-siecle Yankee dynasty, half the kids coming around had a “costume” which consisted of a Yankee jersey and hat. They would get 1 (one) sucking candy. The much more rare Met kid got all he could carry. A little girl in a Piazza jersey actually needed help carrying her bag off my stoop. It’s fun to…

Out of all the nondescript teams in the NFL (Houston, Tennessee, KC, Minn, Carolina, Jax, SD, Cincy, Rams, TB, Buffalo), the Cardinals have to be the most vanilla, who-gives-a-shit franchise. At least the other duds used to be good a few decades ago, or are too new to amount to much.

When we were first married I brought home some flowers on a random day. It was like a damn sitcom: “What did you do? Why did you buy these? What do you want?”

New York Met legend and current broadcaster Keith Hernandez recently did a segment where he worked in a stadium parking lot booth. I only saw a smidge of it it but I don’t think anyone recognized him. And that is right outside his “office” dealing with people who fervently folow him. If you’re not looking for someone…

He’s great, but for me his Dad is the definitive Spidey artist.

Are they having a contest with Marvel on that end? I mean... Secret Wars... WHAT?

I’ve only occasionally read Superman over the years. No snark or anything here: how do they explain the secret ID thing? (Or do they?) I get that rando criminal would not recognize Clark Kent, but how do people like Lois Lane, Perry Mason and Jimmy Olsen not immediately see it?

When I was a kid, a hooded sweatshirt was not any kind of fashion statement (or worse, political one). It was what your mom made you wear. “Jimmy, it looks like it might rain. Take this and put your hood up.” Kids today are fuckin’ idiots.

One of my college roommates decided to become a Bengals fan because Boomer was, like him, from Long Island. That didn’t go well, but he was elated to become a Jet fan when Boomer joined them. That went just as well. I think he is agnostic now.

Of course the Phillies took exception to Murph’s mild bat toss. Ryan Howard never cadillacked his HRs, right? And it’s not as if Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins didn’t act like assholes every moment they were on the field.

Came here just to say that. What an insufferable douchenozzle O’Neill was. I wish he was doing the game last night, it would have been interesting to hear his take.

I work in a particularly esoteric field within my industry. I’ve been doing it for 20+ years so I know everything inside and out. Since it’s kind of a dying part, no one goes into it anymore, so no one knows exactly what I am doing, how long it takes, or anything else. I’m like a wizard; no one bothers me or anything…

100% proof that Drew is a racist.

Use a lot of jargon, sound authoritative, and just make shit up. You can go far.

When I was in college we were being jerks about how bad women’s sports were and a bunch of our friends on the ladies’ basketball team (D3 but pretty good) challenged us to a pickup game. Half of our team (myself included) were terrible basketball players, and we still smoked them. Bodies are different. Men are…