He has a dick, they won’t care.

Petraeus was sentenced to two years’ probation in April 2013 for passing classified information to Paula Broadwell, who was at the time writing his biography and with whom he was also having an affair.

Far and away the best thing about this article is that I discovered somebody named their child “Tyrod”. Not Axle. Not Driveshaft. Not Shock.

Dances With Wolves taught me that shitty white people make the best Native Americans

The next time you’re in NYC and you see someone carrying a bucket, box, whatever, ask him what’s in the bucket. I guarantee you the bucket will be full of “fuck you”.

i’m trying to figure out what non-podunk town anyone would care about some guy carrying a bucket. shit, i grew up in a podunk town and nobody woulda cared there either.

100%

In NYC you could push a shopping cart full of bloody dismembered body parts down the sidewalk and everyone would just mind their own f-ing business.

My impression is that it’s normal to just ignore everyone else in NYC.

If you’re not from Brazil, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of this tragedy.

No Buffalo Bills fan has ever had a physique like that.

+1 shrunken testicle

appears to urge him to, “Suck my dick!”

(Radio guy hates John Wall because his father was absent.)

Hrm...I dunno, I guess it’s a nice gesture, but doesn’t it come off as a little bit patronizing?

Steve Prefondidntrain

“Work smarter, not harder.” This kid is going to be very successful.

im not sure a funeral is the place to be figuring out your differences. he went to pay respect.

Fuck these NFL highlight tweets. Almost every single one requires following links that open three different browser windows before I can actually watch the clip on my phone. No highlight is worth that hassle.

“Needs more wobble.”