Hi! Long time reader, commenting for the first time. I guess I should first put up a disclaimer, that I despise Trump and everything that he stands for, and also that Melania is a fool.

This needs more stars.

From Brazil: the sadness is overwhelming down here. Chapecoense was the cinderella story of the year in Brazilian football, and nearly everybody, no matter the team they are a fan of, was pulling for them. This was their best season ever and they had a very real shot at taking the Sudamerica Cup. Of the six survivors,…

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

I can tell you that “Inbred People Playing with Knives, Ends Poorly For the Ginger One” is something that happens around my white family quite often.

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.

This was a pretty smooth post.

Drake: What am I doing? What am I doing?

Oh, go watch another Jeff Dunham special and leave us alone.

My sweet baby angle.

The first episode ended with the same “these are just theories, don’t sue!” screen. I only watched because the doc will be discussed on a podcast I listen to - in hindsight I should’ve ignored CBS’s 4 hours of speculation and skipped this week’s podcast.

Eww, subpixel rendering. Clean, black-line fonts FTW.

No, he’s not the messiah, he’s just personally chosen by god to lead the chosen people. This cloud giving the Hitler salute proves it.

I didn’t forget anything.

lol AubRIH fever

Ooh! Can Halle Berry be the kick-ass lady version of Liam Neeson?! Like Dad coming to rescue me is whatever, been there, seen all the Takens. But Moms?! I need more action movie Moms plz. Thank you.

The first rule of Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club is: you do not talk about Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club. The second rule of Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club is: you do not talk about Fighting a Bathroom Door in Brazil Club.

I am sorry I became the big bad Pissboy. I am now the Swimmin’ Prince and the big bad Pissboy for I have brought my body’s water onto the land in a shameful way. In the water land where I live, one must only smile and relax and allow the piss to flow from within. We live in the piss pools and we die in the piss pools.…

When told he was going to lose a Brazilian sponsor Lochte was quick to ask how much a Brazilian was....