So that makes three Jezebel darlings who have taken shots at Jezebel through their TV shows.

Those people were wrong. Don't hold your breath.

"Look at 29 April!" I look. "Some people feel the stock market is…" She pauses for such a long beat that I offer to complete her sentence: "…going to crash?" She shakes her head. "This is even worse – we've not had this since the American Revolution."

Lengthwise or widthwise?

Haha, sounds familiar. That's the biggest advantage of going to all ages or 18+ shows like that when you're older; the bar area is usually nice and open and you rarely have to wait to get a drink. It's pretty great.

Yep. I know exactly what you mean. Girls wear insanely skimpy outfits to these kinds of events, and on the one hand, great! Who doesn't like seeing attractive people wearing little clothing, right? But on the other hand; the vast majority of them are waaay too young for me, and it kind of makes me feel like a…

Yeah, it's there still. If you mouse over the upper-right corner of a comment, you'll see a little arrow. If you click on it there will be a drop down menu, and 'dismiss' is one of the options.

She's always like that. I recommend prodigious use of the 'dismiss' button.

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with being older and still enjoying the care-free partying atmosphere of spring break. I think what makes these guys pathetic is how blatantly predatory and creepy they are about college girls.

This actually makes me feel better in a weird way.

My sister had a really bad case of head lice when we were kids so if I ever have kids I'm going to have them get laser hair removal on their scalps when they're infants, so they never have to go through that.

"The term "cooking flesh" is entirely accurate."

Well that's disappointing. Thanks anyway.

How so, if you don't mind me asking?

Same boat here. I was also hoping there would be more serious discussion going on on this post.

How does one learn to be funny?

"Seriously, if you can't read people's signals, you should probably go the forging-genuine-friendships-based-on-common-interests-and-then-letting-one-of-those-friendships-blossom-into-a-beautiful-love route instead of the flirting route."

Someone needs to sue these assholes.

FTFY

That would indeed make more sense. Blame federalism, I guess.