That's worse. Oftentimes with premixed chocolate milk, they'll use milk that doesn't meet visual standards of the non chocolate variety. Read: too much blood/pus in it to be sold white milk.

You had a sad ass childhood if *milk* is your fond memory. Gross yo

This is me, constantly, everyday at work. SIDE NOTE: actually trolling for backrubs and not the D.

Granted, Jon Gosselin looks like a diseased cat, but I wouldn't exactly call the dude Kate is dating now "sexier" by any means. How can you compare "diseased cat" to "Cabbage Patch Kid"?

...did you miss the caveat of "when done right"?

I'm sorry mother fucking Professor X and Lurch decided to splice some fucking genes together and then drop the resulting product off at the nearest ultra con hell hole.

I think "weird, waddling dildo bird" would've been more apt.

She heads a charity for the armed forces, owns a defense contracting company, AND IS WRITING A SCREENPLAY????

So why didn't we call this bird a boobie? Dropped the ball on that shit, we did.

Huh. She looks like she's having a stroke.

This article was ripe for a 3rd Rock from the Sun joke and you fucking failed us all.
Massive disappointment.

Last year, my coworkers and I decided to shut down the bar at 10 and then go out for drinks. We work at a bar so, obviously, there was pregaming involved in this decision. Lots of Jameson's and Budweiser later, I changed into this ridiculous bright red sparkly cocktail dress and we headed out. We hit up a private…

This is the best story I have ever read in my entire life.

I honestly can't ever remember thinking Santa was real. I went along with it because I knew my parents somewhat expected it of me (I was already a weird enough kid as it was). I stopped pretending the year they sat me down on Christmas Eve to tell me they were getting divorced. Oh, and they've also always pulled the…

This is akin to asking people to stop saying they are for LGBTQ rights. It is, despite what she says or wishes, a political stance. Especially during a time when women's rights to their bodies, their ability to make money, etc., is being fought over on a regular basis. Her reasoning for including on the list is…

Wait, huh? Why does anyone care about either ass, either way? If you take issue with any sort of plastic surgery she's had- well- don't. It's not your ass. If you take issue with any photoshopping— let me tell you about a much larger battle that we need to be fighting. Finally, if you take issue with them wanting…

1. I *was* eating, so thanks for that.

Shit. TooFab.com did some serious journalism work to figure out that enigma, huh?

"Oops." —-me, 7 years ago, had I been aware this was a thing.

Thought it looks an awful lot like Emma Roberts