Sheesh, look at these fucking tools. They look like they just came from an antifa riot. These are the know-it-all tough guys behind the deadspin keyboards, eh? How can they tell milk apart when they can’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground? Sissies.

I could probably cross someone over if I had DeAndre Jordan trip them too.

Deadspin used to be cool

Isaiah Rider would be proud.

"What they get you for?"

Just POUNDIN some brews, suckin on titties, gettin my ass wiped. No biggy BRO.

Mayweather's adopted niece in the gif (behind, at right) is more confused in an existential way; that is, "Where are we? Are we inside right now? Why is it so difficult to see in here? Someone should really turn the damn lights on. What do you mean I have sunglasses on my face?"

Or they could just lose again and make it a true throwback Sunday.

Robbers always knock on the door.

ED HOCHULI: (*turns on mic*) Dead ball, personal foul, defense number 43. Called an opposing player a fucking limp dick midget. 15 yards, automatic first down.

The Knicks were eighth in assists that year, but first in passing the rock.

You'd have nerve damage too if you spent that many years fucking Roseanne.

My hope would be "Eva Mendes."

A representative for Candlestick denied that the victim's name was Jack, and that he jumped.

I think this, along with Tommy Morrison's death over the weekend, really hits home on the importance of proper head protection.

And Gary Busey lost 8.3 million brain cells. Let's move on.

As we now know, this never would have happened if the Hawks had hired Mike O'Doulsenholzer.

I can't believe how many bandwagon Heat fans there are now.