The way Michelle Bachman hesitates when she talks makes me distrust everything she says. It's like she doesn't even believe what's coming out of her own mouth.

@Mishegoss: My dad and I didn't get along and if piercing my nose made him cry I think I'd have taken the thing out and never pierced another thing ever again. I'm a sap, though.

@melliejellybelly: omg it even lists "mean boss" as a sample recipient. Seriously, I will probably do something like this when I leave the job. Can't do it for now - too many people know I would love nothing more than to crap right on her desk blotter and leave it for her to find.

The aforementioned gifts are lightweight compared to my totally angry and evil mind. If I didn't think the boss would totally pop for the DNA test to see who's it was, I'd totally send her one of my turds wrapped up all pretty with a huge bow and a tag that said, "A gift for you from as close to my heart as I can…

I work at a professional photo lab where we process images and make prints from weddings, seniors, family portraits, boudoir sessions, etc. Several of the higher ups are photographers first. I have gotten into fair heated arguments about some of the retouching they've done on their photos. They love to put that…

@amowls: My thoughts EXACTLY. Let her talk.....and talk, and talk, and talk.

Sometimes I think Johnny spends too much time on Tim Burton sets.

The last line had me LOL'ing. Pretty funny.

@WitDickman: omg I was thinking the same thing!! God.

I was worried until the oh so artful yanking of the suit out of the crack. Then I hit the floor laughing. People are funny.

@TyLiPink: God. Dare I say this? Please, please, please understand that you, dear, are far more than tiny bumps on your chin, or your cheeks, or your forehead. I think "It gets better" applies here, too. This is just surface stuff. You haven't even come into your own yet. I don't know you. I don't know what you…

@Soups: Re-invigorated temporarily. For some strange reason, this image of him sets me afire. Maybe it's the duct tape.

Doesn't everyone need some Christmas poo?

Okay so we know that reality tv is anything but. This Jason kid looks like one of the producers told him (and probably everyone else) that he's this season's douche, but he's gonna be the douche of all douches. He's got a great head start.

I do not blame either of them one single bit. In their shoes I wouldn't be able to keep my hands to myself either.

The "You're an asshole, buddy. Be nice!" wasn't directed at Kanye. I think she was saying it to another person in the crowd because the same person was "Woo! Woo!"-ing for Kanye. Just sayin.

@Leela Is an Amazon: We think Bast might have something to do with it since all of our strays have been cats. Well, and the occasional possum who likes cat food. hehe

@SqueakyGasket: I can't wait for that for you, too. I hope it happens real soon.

@Sev: All of our wander-ups are cats. The hubbs thinks they get a little food and some good rubs and then scamper off to tell the other people in the neighborhood.

@soofthemoment: The brown/grey/stripey one is actually called a mackerel tabby. When my husband introduces ours he says, "and over here we have the extremely rare mackerel tabby, Tigger". It makes me laugh and it makes people think he's a little bit off, but what the hey. First man I've ever met who's an absolute…