I don’t think it’s a dick question at all (and I am not unmindful of the possibility that I am implicitly judging books by covers). But here is my honest answer, top of my head: Herbert is taller, faster, and will enter the NFL with four years’ of experience under his belt compared to Haskins’ one.

This is the right take. But as someone who believed in Eli for far too long himself, I can’t completely fault the Giants for taking one more shot with him in 2018. The question is whether they are really admitting the error of hanging on to Eli, or if this was more about addition by subtraction. Beckham makes any team…

You beat me to it.  One of the all-time greats.  

How can a discussion of quotable movies - even the necessarily cursory treatment given above - neglect any mention of The Big Lebowski?

If you had Warner Wolf and a conviction . . . you lost!

“CAPLAN” in the “side door” conversation is Gordon Caplan, the soon-to-be-former co-chair of a prestigious NYC law firm.  Here is a link to a story about his involvement. I suspect that anyone who has ever come across this guy will confirm he is the living embodiment of every bad thing you can possibly imagine about…

Top Golf is fun as hell.  

Hernandez was also asked if he could have convinced Servais to give him the opening day nod with a better spring camp.

Just wait till 40 arrives, brother. It’s true. Everything everyone tells you. It is all horribly, catastrophically, painfully, true.

Makes Vontae Davis look pretty indecisive in hindsight.  

As a Knicks fan who has thoroughly convinced himself of a number one pick and two max deals this offseason, I still - still! - don’t know what to make of Kyrie. There is no disputing the talent (Chris’s Very Wrong Take notwithstanding). But, I mean, he’s - you know - Kyrie.

Harper’s tampering hampering Halo’s Trout pampering. 

Each New York sports team’s fan base has its own quirks and idiosyncracies that give rise to exaggerated-but-not-totally-inaccurate stereotypes about the group. Jets fans are always pissed off; Mets fans are grown men who live alone in their mom’s basement in Queens; Yankees fans are assholes. Etc.

Tell her you really care with a Class B assault.

This is the right take, but I’d also sprinkle in a healthy dash of the admittedly lukewarm take that Harper is a solid ballplayer but does not deserve mention among the most elite players in the game. He can be a defensive liability and has had only one otherworldly season at the plate. He has been good enough for…

Ironically, this story is not gonna have a happy ending for Kraft.

I was gonna say basically the exact same thing. It sucks. Mike Trout is going to down as the greatest baseball player that no one ever watched play. But what’s the solution? They paid the man his money. The White Sox or Cubs or Dodgers or Mets (LOL) or Yankees or any other team from a larger media market could have…

“$300 million!?!? LOL”

I honestly do not understand your take, but rather than snark at you about it, I actually want to try to understand. What does the fact that he was standing in for another caddy have to do with his entitlement to be paid? If the waiter who typically takes your order at your favorite restaurant is out sick, and the guy…

Tweeting a dead horse . . .